Basically A Stranger: 16 Men And Women From Arranged Marriages Share The Truth About Sex On Their Wedding Night

13.

“I’ll give a little background to how the whole thing came about to put having sex with my first-cousin into context (SPOILER alert!)

My marriage was arranged-ish, in that it was not ‘love-based’ (initially).

So, I’m of Pakistani descent. I was born in the UK as was my Mum but my Dad is from Pakistan. He moved here when he married my Mum at 22 years old so generally speaking we – as a family – as quite British.

Recently I finished my degree and I had been working for a couple of years at which point my Mum and Dad asked me if I wanted to get married. In Pakistani culture it is not expect that your children go out and date or whatever, standard practice is usually for parents of the children to discuss marriage plans on behalf of the children and the level of involvement varies between cultures, ethnicity, religion etc.

Anyway, my Mum said she had thought about the possibility of me marrying my cousin (I’m the dude in this scenario btw) and asked me what I thought. I was initially pretty grossed out by it but she asked me to mull over the decision for a while. A couple of months later my Mum said that her my (my aunt) said that my cousin (now wife) is willing to chat to me about it if I am. Turns out she was actually playing me at this point because my wife hadn’t been told about this at all but my aunt was potentially onboard with the possibility so she did this to get me to make up my mind quickly.

Which I did and I agreed to meet at some point – after all she was hot yeah, I know that sounds gross to you! We met up and had the most awkward first date ever conceived in the history of mankind where basically we discussed virtually every aspect of normal dating into one 3 hour dinner where we basically discussed our likes.dislikes what we find attractive in the other person, personality traits etc. Like I said super awkward, at the end of the dinner we had literally agreed to marry each other which was the surrealist experience of my life. Afterwards I talked about it with my brother and sister (who had apparently known about this plan for me and her to marry before I did) and they been poking fun of me ever since!

One of the really weird things I found out about that dinner is that she is apparently super horny – which something pretty strange to find out about your cousin – and about 2 weeks after our ‘engagement’ we had been talking a bit and I sent her some semi-lewd innuendo texts which eventually blew into full blown sexting. Yes, 2 weeks after I agreed to marry my cousin we were sexting on a regular basis. Also about this point I found out that she knows nothing about sex, now we were both virgins but the fact that she had never had an orgasm and wanted to give BJ’s with condoms on sounds weird to me but hey!

A couple of weeks later I send her some none-explicit nude shots and we trade back and forth, a couple of weeks after that we make she comes over to my house and we make out under the guise of ‘going to the supermarket to get onions’. At this point I would like to state how surprisingly cool my parents were with all of this, going into this all I assumed (since we are all pretty religious) that we would be banned from seeing each other until the wedding or something but we were allowed to act pretty freely and it was implied that we knew we couldn’t have sex.

A little while later making out turns to groping/rubbing (over other/underwear) and a little while later we were sending each other full blown nude pics/videos. This would have been about 6 months after we were ‘engaged’. This continued on for another 6 months until we got married.

The actual wedding night the sex wasn’t awkward per se, the actual act was. Like physically doing it after talking about it for almost a year but in terms of breaking the ice or anything we didn’t have that problem because we were super horny for each other at this point.”

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