“I had an arranged marriage. Just a lot of guys would send proposals via their relatives who also knew our relatives, etc, and my family would basically ask around, see how that guy was from people he wasn’t related to ( to get the whole picture) and it was UP TO ME to say yes or no. (side note: this is how it is supposed to be in Islam. It is a huge sin to marry your sister/daughter off without her uncoerced, willing consent. I wish people would follow the rules instead of the forcing and daughter- selling that basically happens. It is monstrous.)
Well I married him…and turns out, he was and is my dream guy. I am very attracted to tall, soft-spoken, dark guys WEARING GLASSES (mmmm) and he was all of that. He made me laugh, hugged me and kissed my forehead before anything else. We were both virgins, but sex wasn’t a problem. It is, after all, human instinct, and we communicate very well. Went slow at first, asking each other permission before touching anything. We experimented a lot the first few months, since we hadn’t tried anything to know what we wanted. Our sex life is great now.
In many ways, he is my soulmate. When I am hyper, he is my oasis of calm. When I am upset, he knows exactly how to cheer me up. Where I am lacking, he is proficient, and vice versa. I love him and the way he looks at me still makes me tear up with excessive mushiness. I am happy that we were each other’s firsts, because sex feels like our OWN special little thing, rather than a special little thing to share with someone you love. It’s silly, but it makes me happy.”
“Like a fool I opted for an arranged marriage on the rebound. The girl I was originally seeing was batshit crazy. But something strange happens when you get rejected, more so than the hurt…You become incapable of making good decisions.
Anyhow, was introduced to a girl. She had different interests, a different outlook on life and didn’t take to kindly to my casual humor. So like an idiot I got engaged to her. Over the course of the engagement I was really busy with work so didn’t see her at all. Then came the marriage. It was surreal. There I was sitting on stage with a girl I hardly knew getting married! Most of the fuckers at the wedding were my parents friends etc, I hardly knew anyone there!
Fast forward to the honeymoon. We were like awkward strangers. We actually never had sex on our honeymoon. Was the sex awkward? Your damn right it was.
Fast forward 6 years later and we have a child. Did I make the right decision? If I wasn’t a father I’d leave tomorrow. I wouldn’t let my parents choose my socks, but I let them choose my ‘life partner’ (the loser that I am). So why am I sticking around? To cut a long story short, I want my child to do well in life, so am living an act.
Do I have regrets? Don’t we all?
Am I a good husband? I never argue, never complain and put on a smiling face.
Have I fucked my life up? Not totally, I earn quite a lot. And unlike the bullshit you hear in the movies, money gives you great options in life, and I try to enjoy as much of it as possible.”