8. My Hot Friends Feel Depressed. I Don’t.
We’re both big nerds. We’re not into sports. We do exercise, but we hate the gym. We were overweight when we first started dating, and we both were really clear that appearance alone was not the motivating factor in our relationship. And thank God.
My hot friends feel really depressed about their “decline” over the years. Like their husband/wife bought a shirt and now the color’s starting to fade.
A partner isn’t a doll you buy on an impulse. They’re your family, they’re your home. I love him for who he is, and how he makes me feel, not what he looks like.
He’s still just as funny and smart and amazingly talented in bed as he was when we first met, in fact he’s gotten way more awesome in all those areas over the years. That’s what matters to me.
9. Standards Don’t Go Out The Window Once You’re In Love
Love is not blind acceptance. It’s about mutual respect and being able to agree to disagree with each other. You respect the others choices and deal with it as best you can. Your standards can’t go out the window just because you love someone though. If someones changes are extreme enough it is unreasonable to expect them to still hold the person with such regard. My girlfriend is not skinny (240) and she knows I don’t like her being as big as she is. I don’t mock her in any way and I find her plenty attractive still. I love her and I support her but if she gained another 100lbs I would not want to be with her because it shows how little self respect she has for herself. If she doesn’t have that respect for herself then how can she possibly give it back? I wouldn’t love her any less, but I know I would become very unhappy. It’s a two-way street and your happiness matters equally as much as hers.
I imagine you feel let down since this is a serious tag and it’s implied you’ve been together for years. If she loves and respects you like you do her, then you should be honest and calm. If she can’t be that back, she may not be the person you thought she was. You would have to decide after how much more you want to invest in that person. I do not suggest this lightly and am not encouraging you to leave. You do need to address it in some way.
