If I want to get really sad I’ll think about what it’s like to be a single guy in terms of my emotional and physical support options.
I’m lucky enough to have a lot of close female friends, and when I’ve been single I’ve pretty much had a seamless transition from the support of my partner back to the consistent support of my friends. When I see a girlfriend, we hug hello. We talk about our problems, listen to each other, and generally make sure the other feels loved and supported.
Most men don’t have this. They don’t hug their friends hello and goodbye. They don’t have a straightforward, earnest source of affection.
Single men can go weeks without having any kind of affectionate touch. Think about what that is like. What is such a casual, positive foundation in my life is completely lacking from many other people’s lives entirely. No matter what a guy’s love language is, touch is one that he’s been consistently depleted of.
Granted, there are exceptions to every rule. Some people don’t like to be touched. But generally, physical touch lays the foundation for a stable, healthy relationship. It creates a starting place where both people can feel confident in the other person’s love. It is a casual, constant reminder that they have the support of another human being.
Especially in our modern world where we communicate primarily through digital text, we are all missing the benefits of physical touch. Touch is shown to decrease risk for disease, increase trust between individuals, lead to greater emotional intimacy, and contribute greatly to overall wellbeing. People who are touched a lot are richer, happier, healthier and in stronger relationships.
When a guy has a partner who frequently reassures him of her love via physical touch, don’t have to question the volume or steadfastness of their partner’s love. They are confident about their relationship and confident about themselves. When they go out into the world, they have a better time than everyone else because their foundation is so solid.