You need to know that it’s not entirely your fault. You didn’t recognize how rare she is, but not everyone is born with the ability to recognize a diamond in the rough. You thought she was common just like you, so you treated her the way you treat all your other girls. You said goodbye and you watched her blossom without you.

If you’re wondering why she couldn’t be the happy, vibrant woman you see now when she was with you, know that water seeks it’s own level. When she was with you, she became like you. She was dulled because you are dull.

There’s a phenomena that fishers have noticed when dealing with crabs — if you have a bunch in a bucket, they won’t go anywhere even though one by one they could escape. As a unit, they grab at each other to prevent one from escaping before the other. Some people are like this, they don’t want someone else to shine because they are afraid their own time won’t come. You need to consider the possibility that you were like this, that your fear held her back.

When you watch your ex become happier than she has ever been at a point in life (a recent breakup) where most people are sad, you should let it worry you a little. This is the good kind of worry. It’s the kind that’s productive, that leads to you understanding your own shortcomings and getting better because of it. How many of your other exes have moved on to bigger and better things because you failed to see them for what they were?

Maybe next time a good woman comes along you will appreciate how rare that is. Maybe it took seeing that losing you isn’t a loss for her to understand that the possibility exists that just maybe you aren’t as great as you think you are. You are mortal and you make mistakes. This is one of them. May you learn from it.