1. Projecting things onto you
Ironically, this kind of behavior was exactly the reason that I thought she would never cheat. Does that make sense? In my mind, I saw how upset even the slightest interaction with another girl made her, and I figured that just meant she was extra sensitive to the whole thing. Boy was I wrong.
2. Work stuff
Leaving home early and coming home late without a good explanation.
3. Sex-related stuff
Increase or decrease in libido.
4. Watch how the friends act
Lack of eye contact from her friends, who seem to be quieter than they used to.
5. This big one
Not saying “I love you” in return anymore.
6. A sudden change of habit.
This can be all of a sudden going out to the bars more, coming home late all the time, a disinterest in what they usually love, etc etc etc.
7. Or —
A sudden secrecy.
8. Their phone habits change DRASTICALLY
When they lock their phones with some 10-string password and suddenly keep you from touching their phones. It always starts with the communication lines. I also had an ex who, one day, made another user account for me on his PC. Whenever I’d ask to borrow his laptop, he’d log out of his account and tell me to use the “special” account he made for me (it was limited access too).
9. Quick to shower (getting another scent off him…)
Does he shower when he comes home? Or, when he comes in the door if you greet him with a hug and kiss is he super quick to break away?
10. More phone-related stuff
Keeps second “work” phone that is locked for security
11. Clothing changes
Buys new color-coordinated underwear
12. A new “friend”
The mention of a new “friend” is usually the first warning sign. After then, they start talking more and more about the new “friend”. Soon, you find your SO and you are having fights more frequently and more intense. At this point, your SO will go to the “friend” for consolation, and console them they do.
13. Doesn’t want to be around you as much
When she cuts your alone time short to go “hang out with their best friend.”
14. Their schedule doesn’t make sense
Large amounts of time that are unaccounted for mixed in with inconsistencies as to where they were at that time.
15. Not reachable
Becoming “selectively unreachable” when they’re allegedly out doing innocuous things where they’d normally take a phone call.
16. Blocking you off from parts of their life
BIG ONE segregating your contact with other people they’re frequently with. Honestly, everyone does this to a degree… but cheaters put up some absolute walls that will become apparent over time.
17. Small things adding up…
Inconsistencies: over time, you’ll note discrepancies between what they said they were doing vs. what makes sense. Again, this is a matter of degrees. With a cheater, these will add up to a “do I really believe this?” level at some point.
Example: SO was allegedly overseas — but when I called his cell phone it connected immediately. If you’ve ever called an out-of-network cell phone overseas, you know that it takes a heck of a lot longer to connect. I make a lot of those kinda calls for work, so this was one of the first weird WTF moments for me.
18. Excuses, excuses, excuses
A bunch of excuses: Just like a manager who gets that all of your Monday morning sick calls have become a pattern for rough weekends… a cheater’s patterns will start to stand out.
19. Two types of cheating
There is physical, sexual, lustful cheating. This is the one most men are guilty of. The warning signs are harder to see. It can be as quick as wham-bam-thankyouma’am during a lunch break. It’s strictly sexual, so the cheater usually doesn’t necessarily have to distance themselves from their partner or lose any interest in their partner. For example, a guy may truly love his girl, want to marry her and have kids…but damn his coworker has some dick-sucking lips.
Then there is emotional cheating (which usually includes sex also). This has deeper warning signs, like loss of interest, more time spent away or unavailable, etc etc. When this one happens, it usually means the cheater no longer wants to be with their partner.
20. If you can’t talk
f you see a bunch of the common warning signs, and don’t feel like you can talk about them with your SO, that’s your #1 sign.