These bachelor/ette party nightmares are hilariously scary.
Responses originally found on R/AskReddit
1. Bride see’s groom’s saucy texts
Bachelor party in Vegas… Bachelor hooks up with a girl, gives her his cell phone number so they can continue the party that night. Bride to be is sitting at home with the iPad getting all of the iMessages from the girl. She canceled the wedding that day.
— hfi
2. Groom wanted handy
A groom fighting the bride’s brother at the bachelor party. This is, of course the result of the groom paying for a handjob (why even bother right?) from the stripper.
3. Wedding planner tells all
Hi there, part-time wedding planner here. I have a few of these.
(1) Obligatory sex one: The bachelor party and the bachelorette party were being held in the same hotel in New Orleans (I tried to get them to do separate venues but nooooo. the group discount would cover an extra day in Carmel.) They begin at 8pm and collide drunkenly at about 3am. It was some kind of drunken fistfight-cum-orgy and everyone was so ashamed the next morning they called it off. Good News Everyone! They made up 6 months later and got married. They picked something simple, like their back yard this time.
(2) Fucking weird sex one. Bachelorette party turned out to be Homestuck themed, complete with Homestuck male strippers. (Please for the love of Christ DO NOT ASK WHERE I FOUND THOSE.) It got weird and the groom walked in on the bride riding a candy-corn colored horn. Groom noped the fuck out.
(3) The Best One: so the couple has been sleeping together for a few years, she gets pregnant, and decide to get married. Months of planning go by and she begins to show. Bride’s parents wig right the fuck out, call her a slut, and forbid her to get married. They cancel the wedding, steal her parent’s car to elope, and torch the garage on their way out. It was magnificent. I did not get paid.
4. “Your mom drinks too much”
My cousin runs a popular upscale marriage venue and always tells the story way better than this, so here is a rough overview:
The groom’s mom was a heavy drinker and got belligerent when she drank, so understandably the bride wanted the groom to try to limit her drinking. The afternoon before the wedding the bride arrives to see groom’s mom smashed with the groom himself giving her beers. Next thing my cousin knows (she was there to oversee preparations) the bride and groom are in a straight up fist fight which leads to an Anchorman-style street fight between members of both families in the parking lot.
Apparently, they recently scheduled a new day for it. I can’t imagine the tension there.
5. More mom probs
I used to be a photographer. The first wedding I shot was one where the mother of the bride was a heavy drinker. At the reception, she was pretty drunk and went up to give a speech. She started out with, “when my daughter told me she was getting married, I knew it was to one of two guys, and I’m glad it’s you, John.” John was not pleased.
6. That marriage lasted an hour
After the wedding at the reception, the newlyweds took forever to show up. They were nearly an hour late. When they did arrive they were arguing loudly the entire time. They got “introduced” and we all clapped as per tradition and they sat down at the main table in a huff.
Sometime between the appetizer and the main course the argument started again. The groom stormed off and my girlfriend and I were nosey so we went to see what was up.
He ended up in the hotel lobby on his cell phone. We thought nothing of it and we were about to go back when the wife shows up still obviously in her wedding dress and continues to ream him out.
Now for the first time, we can hear what the argument is about. He had invited his ex to the wedding. She showed up to the ceremony and that through the bride off. Apparently also…he had cheated on the new wife with the ex-girlfriend several times with the last time being only about a month prior to the wedding.
..additionally…the ex/girlfriend/mistress was on her way to come pick up the new husband to take him away from the new bride…cause she was “Acting crazy.” according to the groom.
After a couple minutes of watching this train wreck of an argument, a shitty rust bucket sedan shows up with the ex-girlfriend in it. The groom gets into the car with his ex or whatever the fuck she is and they drive off.
Last words went to the bride though who screamed at him as he tore off, “Well I guess I’m going to go back to fucking your brother then you asshole!”
Sooooo….they’re no longer married now…
— aussydog
7. Surprise ending, here
Several years ago, I got a phone call from the maid of honor for a wedding I was going to attend (as a guest) two weeks hence. She was flustered, but managed to get out “There’s no wedding, Groom called it off. He’s in love with someone else.”
Well, I didn’t press. I was friends with both, so I knew that the full details would eventually make their way back to me.
Oh, and boy did they…
Turns out, a couple weeks before the wedding, Groom called Bride and said he was coming over. They needed to talk. When he got to her apartment, he broke down in tears and confessed that he was in love with someone else. He loved her, but couldn’t marry her because he didn’t love her in the way a bride deserves.
There was much crying and shouting over it all, but eventually the bride recovered from the news enough to ask him who he was in love with.
“Well,” Groom said, “it’s [Bride’s Brother].”
The wedding was definitely off at that point. Now, five or six years later, Groom and Bride’s Brother are married and happy. Though, I lost contact with Bride shortly after her wedding plans went tits up, so I’m not sure if she ever forgave the boys for that one.
— NexysVI
8. Jesus, be safe kids.
Paramedic. Bachelor party mixed with drunk driving, one of the groomsman killed. Believe the entire wedding was canceled and the couple split up.
9. She was just a liar?
Sister of the groom chatted with the sister of the bride. Just casual conversation but it came to light that almost 100% of what the bride had said beside her name was a complete lie. Sister of the groom calls him up and says he really needs to figure out if this is right. A few fights and some long thinking later the groom leaves her and leaves town.
It got worse, though, turns out pretty much all the bride’s friends had been lied to as well. They all stopped talking to her.
Edit: I replied below with some examples of the lies but seems to have gotten lost in the thread. pasting that answer here:
Just the normal details of a person’s life. Where she went to high school, instead of a boring suburban school it was an expensive private school. Claimed her family had a ton of money she was set to inherit. Claimed they had a home in Hawaii. Faked knowing people in the same industry. Small to large, didn’t really matter almost all of it was fake from what I heard. I didn’t really know her, but we were at the same company. People I worked with used to work in her department so I just heard most of it second hand. And no idea how she thought this would work for the rest of her life. I honestly think she had a mental condition. From what I understand she tried to rekindle the friendships but quickly started to lie again and that was it. She quit the company shortly after all this went down.
10. Sleeping with strippers
One of my best friend’s wedding was canceled when he learned she slept with a stripper after her bachelorette party. Like three days after.
He is happily remarried now with a kid.
The worst part was that it was a destination wedding/honeymoon and he couldn’t get a refund so we all went anyway and he was super depressed the whole time. His family was all there too.
11. What??
Friend invites me to his wedding. He and fiance are fairly poor, have lived together for years.
They’re both semi-disabled (his is PTSD, hers is physical) and on fixed incomes, and live in a somewhat expensive area.
They have three gift registries (Target, Macy’s, Crate & Barrel) and a HUGE invite list – over 300 friends/family members. All the stuff on the registries is standard stuff like towels, coffee cups, flatware, etc.
Anyway, people fly out, get ready for wedding, two days before wedding is Bachelor party and friend gets drunk and admits that she’s not really his fiance, they are just roommates and they have no intention of getting married they just needed the stuff. They’re going to cancel the wedding tomorrow and keep all the gifts.
Had to protect him from getting his ass kicked by about two dozen people. Then had to have the fiance come clean to everyone since he was too hungover.
They ended up returning most of the gifts to people – but a surprising number of people let them keep the gifts. As his grandfather said “If you needed these things that badly to lie like this, you must have been very desperate.”
— gaqua
12. Can the wedding be moved to prison?
I was at a Bachelor party the Tuesday night before a Saturday wedding. After 8 hours or so of heavy drinking all day, we were at a baseball game and the groom punched a police officer in the back of the head and knocked him out for a few seconds. I watched it happen in slow motion, and thought to myself, “Welp, this wedding isn’t going to be happening this weekend”.
— msor504
13. Murder ends wedding
In the early 90’s my friend’s brother was getting married. The night before the groom and best man decided they should kill the ex-boyfriend of the bride. They did, they got caught, and the wedding was cancelled – for obvious reasons.
As far as I know, the two are still serving time.
14. Last minute mistake
Groom’s ex just happened to be at the bar where we were having drinks, they hooked up, no wedding later.
15. Bride cheating on groom with groom’s BFF and father
My friend “Bob” caught his Fiancée having sex with his dad “Bob Sr.”. Bob then found love letters in his bedroom he shared with his Fiancée between his Fiancée and his best friend/best man “Steve”. This happened around 2001 when people still hand wrote things. The letters were explicit enough that it was obvious that Bob’s fiance and Steve had been having sex within the past week. I realize I used way too many pronouns in my original explanation and some people were a little confused.
16. More weird cheating
While the working the night before a wedding at a hotel, the staff and I heard a loud scream from upstairs. Cue the bride screaming and sobbing shouting “The weddings off!!!” while storming out the place followed by the groom stark bollock naked covering his nether regions with his hands apologising profusely. Turns out she caught the mother of the bride and the groom shagging. Safe to say we had an easy shift the next day as we didn’t have a wedding to cater for.
17. Hm
College friend was to get married to a guy she had only known for 4 months. She found out where the bachelor party was and wandered in to find the groom getting some head – from the best man.
18. Did you forget to mention these?
The day of the wedding the bridesmaids discovered a bunch of heroin and syringes in the bride’s bag. Groom was pissed, called off the wedding an hour before it was set to happen, but still let us enjoy the food and bar that had already been paid for at the venue. He dodged a bullet and I got drunk for free. Win-win.
— Tee_Red
19. Wow, what even happened?
I’m a musician. I work on an infamous street for drunken revelry and debauchery. One night, a bachelor party came in around the same time as a bachelorette party. The show I work with does special things like funny songs for special events, so I bring them both up at the same time to do something special. In the middle of this, on stage, they start making out. And they Do. Not. Stop. I finish my routine as best I can and get them offstage.
Later, as I’m looking around the audience, my eye catches on them again. They’re in the back corner just going at it , while their respective parties hang out up near the front of the stage. And they are really getting into it. Hands down pants and up skirts. At some point they disappear. I take a break and head to the restroom. It’s locked. I hear a woman screaming from within. Not moaning, not sighing. Screaming “fuck me harder!!!” I sit in the lounge area outside the bathroom for about 10 mins. The bachelor and bachelorette come out, looking a bit disheveled, but not too bad. They see me, and immediately want to chat (for some reason, people always want to get to know the musicians here.) there’s curiously no guilt on them at all. I have to piss like a race horse, but this is too good to pass up.
Come to find out, they both are getting married to other people, but know each other from having lived in the same small town of about 5,000 people all their lives. They ran into each other for the first time since high school graduation at our bar and old feelings emerged that neither had ever attempted to act on. They don’t stay long, and as they leave I hear the bachelor say “I have my own room, let’s go there.” The rest of the party stays till the show is over, partying hard and having fun. Possibly the best bachelor/bachelorette parties I’ve had. (Usually, bachelor parties get too drunk and bachelorette parties devolve into crying fits and arguments)
Anywho, I wind up seeing the “bachelor” and “bachelorette” together at our bar and out in the street every night for 4 nights. Always holding hands and/or getting frisky.
They came back a little over a year later. They got married here in our town to each other instead of who they were engaged to that fateful night. Most of their respective bachelor/bachelorette show up for the event.
With this story, I always feel torn. Did I participate in the destruction of two relationships, or did I facilitate the meeting of two soulmates?
20. OMG, she did THAT?
An ex-girlfriend was at a Bachelorette party at a seedy male strip club. She came home from the party and said, “well, the wedding is off”.
The bride was getting the usual treatment, sitting in a chair with strippers gyrating around her, whipping dongs around, and then one put whipped cream on his cock and invited her to lick it off. Which she did, with her tonsils, until the stripper shoots his load all over the front of her “I’m the Bride” t-shirt.
About this moment, the bride kind of comes to her senses, looks around and sees like 20 of her friends pointing cell phones at her recording and taking photos and starts freaking out.
My girlfriend says she started screaming at everyone “you better delete that shit” and generally having a full rage meltdown, Which is apparently tough to take seriously when you’re basted in stripper jizz.
This tale of modern romance closes very shortly later with the bride’s phone ringing a call from her fiance, who has already received photos (from her “friends”) of his bride to be with a cock stuffed in her mouth.
21. Father of Bride cancels wedding
Buddy’s bachelor party. Bachelor got super wasted and the FoB was shocked and did not know the well mannered/polite young man marrying his daughter was in his eyes a “..raging alcoholic..”. The bachelor got so drunk, he began to let some secrets slip about his relationship with the bride. The FoB was a bit old school in his thinking. The Bachelor let the following slip.
- His daughter was basically living with him since Junior year of college and her apartment in college was for show for the FoB.
- Even though he is drinking a lot, his future wife can out drink him 2-1.
- His future wife has cute tattoo on her inner thigh and that all his/her friends had seen it when they went skinny dipping at the FoB’s lakehouse.
- We had a massive graduation party at his lakehouse when him and his wife were in Europe for two weeks.
- The bride is into some kinky stuff.
That drew the line. The FoB declared there would not be a wedding, where has he gone wrong raising his daughters. Then he said his life is f*cked. He has four daughters total and this was is oldest and who he considered his best behave.
— mgoode87 
