1. Always (ALWAYS) have plans in the back of your mind:
I’m guessing you were expecting something like pace yourself, but let’s be real. There’s no coming back from a good day bender, so you might as well embrace it.
If I could redo college, there’s only one thing I would change. And it wouldn’t be partying more, drinking less or being in a relationship my senior year. It would be, the moment I left my freshman dorm, buying a three or four-month old dog.
I have to come clean about an addiction that has overtaken my life. A high so good I can’t match it with anything else. One that’s drained my bank account worse than cigarettes, gambling or heroin ever (hypothetically) did.
Rum? I’m sorry, do you live on a pirate ship? Beer? How disarmingly everyman of you. Vodka? Is the One Direction concert tonight? Tequila or gin? You have a serious alcohol problem.
“If you say Twitter again, I’m not going to speak to you for a week.”
1. We can’t be female feminists, so don’t make us try.