I know that right now it doesn’t make sense to you. I know that you can’t find a way to neatly package the messy heartbreaks and all of the wrong turns. I know you wish you could tie the hardships and the hurt up with a nice bow and store them away, somewhere in the deepest depths of your closet. I know you want to hide the pain elsewhere, so you don’t have to keep feeling it over and over again.
But instead, here you are, sitting through it all. Here you are with the pain flowing through your veins, rushing through your body. Here you are, hugging your knees to your chest and rocking back and forth on your bed, holding back tears and trying to console your exhausted heart.
You wish someone or something would come in and save you. You wish that someone could pull you into a warm hug and put all of your broken pieces back together.
But here you are, wrapped up in your flannel blanket, praying for a miracle. Here you are hoping for a little piece of something good to be planted in your life. Here you are, sitting in the moonlight, eyes glossy with tears, just waiting for the storm to pass. Here you are just waiting to feel okay again.
My dear, soon it is will be your time. Soon the stars are going to shine for you again. I promise. But until then, you’re going to have to wait patiently. Until then, you’re going to have to keep your heart in your chest, despite how much it hurts. Until then you’re going to have to hold on the promise that your time is coming.
Lie down and take a deep breath. Pull your blankets up to your chin. Tonight you may have to fall asleep with the pain still in you. You may have to sleep through the hurt. But as your thoughts blur into watercolors as you fall closer and closer to sleep, I hope the pain lessens and the hurt fades away. And I hope that your very last thoughts are hopeful. I hope that your very last thoughts remind you of a time when things were better. Because soon it will be your time again. Soon things will be better. I promise.
So please, believe in something good. Believe that pain ends. Believe that you are bigger than the hurt you feel. The messy heartbreaks and the sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach won’t last forever. Your eyes won’t be filled with tears forever. One of these days, everything is going to be okay. You are going to shine again. You are going to feel like yourself again. You are going to love again.
But until then, take good care of yourself. And take good care of your heart.