Cody Delistraty

Never use jargon words like reconceptualize, demassification, attitudinally, judgmentally. They are hallmarks of a pretentious ass.

Nothing keeps you as anxious as feeling like you need to constantly spend money.

Thirty minutes of Mendelssohn or one dose of Valium? It’s your pick because, according to a study at the University of Baltimore, both the music and the drug have the same anti-anxiety benefits for heart patients.

Now before you go thinking that I’m some horribly calculating automaton, first stop and think about how beneficial this kind of universal self-centeredness is.

A sort of 1984 for the Amazon.com generation, DFW’s over-a-thousand-pages opus deals with the state of a world that’s entirely steeped in advertising and consumerism.

Studies have shown that looking at pretty things like rolling hills, supermodels, and shiny cars significantly boosts one’s happiness.

The Paris versus New York debate ever rages on and below-the-belt remarks are tossed like grenades across both sides of the Atlantic.

When we live and travel abroad, every little nuance — the cracks in the sidewalk, the smell of fresh pastries, the wide horizon in the distance — all seem new.

Charisma isn’t something that anyone inherently has. It’s something that’s given you by those who respect you and what you have to say.

4. Using Facebook Too Much

A bicep squeeze, a longing stare, even a full-on, up-and-down check out will be taken as a compliment. In this instance, we’re all for being objectified.

“Don’t worry about keeping me in the loop.”

Calling a book a “beach read” can be a sort of subtle insult, like telling someone that their shirt seems a little tight or they look beautiful when they wear makeup.