The Other Side Of Intimacy

I want to be intimate with you. But I don’t mean us taking our clothes off and giving in to lust.

I want to see you naked, but not in the shallowest meaning of the word. I don’t want to know what’s underneath your shirt. I want to know what’s underneath the mask you wear every day, how many layers it takes you to conceal everything— or if you let people see you uncovered and raw.

I don’t want to see what color your undergarments are. I want to see your colors, the spectrum that makes up who you are, and the wavelength you see yourself in. I want to see if you are as passionate as red, or as serene as blue, or as sanguine as yellow. I want to know the intermediates, the everything in between.

I don’t want to measure the curve of your hips. I want to measure the curve of your mind, its depth, and the lengths it will go to in the defense of something you firmly believe in. I want to dissect the kind of realizations you have at 2AM, or hear the thoughts you would never voice out easily in anybody else’s presence.

I don’t want to just see your scars; I want to know the stories behind them. I want to empathize with you when you recall the pain of it all, or laugh when you retell the absurd thing that happened and gave you those marks.

I don’t want to feel the toughness of your arms. I want to feel the toughness of your spirit, how it rallies and how it handles the weight of what the world has given you. I want to know if you are unstoppable once given the determination, and how you know when it’s time to give up and surrender.

I don’t want to simply trace the lines of your palms; I want to trace the paths you took that brought you here. I want to know if you are still travelling the road you originally wanted to be on, and I want to know where you ultimately see yourself— what you aspire to be, what makes up your dreams. I wonder if you’ll want me to be part of your journey.

I don’t want you to bare your body to me; it’s your masterpiece of a soul I want to see bare. I’ll admit it’s scary and thrilling and terrifying all at the same time, but let’s bare each other one layer at a time. I know that I’ll want to be physically intimate with you someday, but for now, before that, before anything else, I want to be intimate with you— heart and mind and soul.