The Dumbass ‘Bachelor’ Twins Are Getting Their Own Show

Emily Ferguson Instagram
Emily Ferguson Instagram

The blonde twins, Emily and Haley Ferguson, who competed for Ben Higgins love on The Bachelor and then for random Bachelor castoffs on Bachelor in Paradise have been given their on show on Freeform and I hate saying things like “this is terrible news for women” but this is fucking terrible news for women.

Look, I’m not trying to be a bitch but these girls are acting stupid on purpose and it’s not okay. When Emily met Ben’s mom on The Bachelor she literally made her cry using only her vapidness. His mom was that scared about her son’s taste in women. If the twins were accidentally stupid and we could all admit that it’s a character flaw to be stupid, I’d shut up about it. But it’s an on purpose decision and we’re celebrating it. It’s gross.

Entertainment Tonight describes the premise of the new show:

In the new show, Emily and Haley — the first twins to appear on The Bachelor — will say goodbye to the comfort and luxuries of living under their mom’s roof and begin the journey of figuring out life on their own while searching for independence and a new career.

This means we’re going to see them doing on-purpose dumb shit like trying to open a pickle jar and wondering if tuna is actually chicken. We’ve all seen this before! We’ve seen Jessica Simpson and we’ve seen Paris Hilton. Do we really need to watch more blondes act as if the simple task of being alive is rocket science?

There are so, so, so many other people from the Bachelor franchise that would make an awesome guilty pleasure show without relying on this tired “I’m a dumb woman lol” trope. Why can’t we watch Jojo and Jordan set up their life in Dallas? Why can’t we watch Chad Johnson dance to Work From Home and throw chicken breasts at his George Foreman grill all day (follow realchadjohnson on Snapchat if you don’t know what I’m talking about)?? Why can’t we have a show about Bachelorette Jillian’s design business?

It’s just actually physically painful for me to watch these women revel in not becoming anything.

I love shows that follow people going after their dreams, even if it’s cheesy — Top Chef, Below Deck, hell even the Kardashians because everyone in that family is fucking smart and starting businesses and making money. No one is standing around laughing about how stupid they are.

This show feels immoral. I just can’t with this striving for stupidity shit anymore.

Anyway, The Twins: Happily Ever After? premieres Monday, March 20 at 9 p.m. ET/PT TC mark

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