21 Types Of Female Underwear And What They Really Mean

1. Cotton panties that came in a pack of three: I am just trying to live my life right now, I cannot be held to your patriarchal panty standards.

2. Extreme, heavily-padded pushup bra: No one is going to be taking this off tonight, so I can live the lie for some excellent cleave pics.

3. Neon: The POINT is to make it show through, this is called FaShIoN K

4. Bathing suit bottom: Laundry day.

5. Black cotton panties: I think we all know that there might be some stains in the future of these underwear, and I think we all know what kind of stains they are. These are the Sacrificial Panties.

6. Flesh-colored and seamless: This dress is somewhat sheer, and I am the kind of woman who pays her bills, organizes her closet, and prevents visible panties.

7. Spanx: I had a job interview today, don’t fucking touch me until I get these off, or I will pop out of them like Pillsbury croissants.

8. Black lacy panties: Bout 2 get myself some D

9. Leopard “sexy” underwear with matching bra: I say the words “meow,” “rawr,” or “daddy” in bed.

10. Victoria’s secret PINK boy shorts: Reliving my 19-year-old lifestyle by wearing these adorable pink-and-green panties around the house to feel sexy whilst watching Netflix.

11. Men’s boxer shorts: Stole these from an ex probably and I don’t care about feeling sexy whilst watching Netflix, I’m just trying to be comfortable.

12. Bike shorts: I will never have a thigh gap, and I am okay with that.

13. Really really frilly shit that will never ever lay flat under clothes: I bought these with the intention of wearing them for some ~*~steamy sexual caucus~*~ and they have been crumpled in the back of my underwear drawer for two years because who has time for costume changes.


15. Sports bra while not working out: Take away my thrice-weekly spin class, and I have no reason to live. (Alternatively, there are at least a dozen pictures of me doing yoga on Instagram.)

16. Matching Set: The world is not gonna fuck with me today, I can do anything, I believe in me. This is my moment, my matching-bra-and-panty moment.

17. Thong in a short, flowy skirt or dress: I don’t play by your rules, and mild breezes don’t scare me.

18. That one pair of boyshorts with buttons on them: I bought these thinking “Oh, how cuuuute” but then never wear them because who the fuck wants buttons on their underwear.

19. Bandaids on the nips: I’m a ~*~free spirit~*~ who is probably going to, or coming from, an outdoor music festival.

20. That one random pair of basic blue panties you got at like H&M or something that have somehow held up for several years and are still in perfect shape: I don’t give up on those who don’t give up on me.

21. Commando while wearing jeans: I have a death wish, see you all in the afterlife. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author

Chelsea Fagan

Chelsea Fagan founded the blog The Financial Diet. She is on Twitter.

More From Thought Catalog