23 People On The One Thing They Wish They Had Said To Their Ex

A few weeks ago, I asked friends, coworkers, followers, and family to tell me the one thing they wish they had said in their last big relationship that they never got the chance to. Here (with some minor name changes) are their answers.

1. Katie, 22

“I wish I told him that he was good to me, and that I didn’t hate him. He thought I hated him, but I really just didn’t want to be in a relationship. 21 was not the right age to be in something serious, but he thought it was his fault.”

2. Zaina, 26

“That he was a fucking asshole. I never had the courage to be honest with him when I was leaving, but I wish I had just told him ‘FUCK YOU.'”

3. Darren, 29

“One time when we were still living together, I remember looking across the table at him and realizing that I didn’t love him anymore, and I didn’t want to be with him. Part of me was grossed out even by the thought of being with him. I should have told him right then and there that it was over, but I dragged it out for four more months.”

4. Rachel, 21

“That I still love him, and always will.”

5. Chris, 24

“I wish I would have told her that she was beautiful more often. She never thought that she was, and I think she thought she was even uglier when I broke up with her. I wish she would have known that I always thought she was beautiful.”

6. Marcia, 52

“My college boyfriend was very emotionally abusive, and I went to Europe for a year mostly to get away from him. He would cry and scream and ask me why I was doing it to him, and I always told him it was because I wanted to find myself and write a book and explore. I wish I had told him, maybe even in a letter once I was already there, that it was because I didn’t want to be with him. He should have known how terrible he was. He probably still thinks he’s a victim.”

7. Kat, 28

“His breath smells. He’s a close talker.”

8. Dimitri, 27

“I wish I had the courage to tell her that I wasn’t in love with her anymore. I made up all these crazy excuses about why I had to break up, she thought I had all these personal problems and that I needed to ‘take time to figure it out’ but I just didn’t want to be with her anymore!”

9. Sam, 21

“That I knew he was cheating, I just didn’t say anything.”

10. Jules, 26

“When she was breaking up with me, I literally didn’t say anything. I was trying not to cry and I knew that she would think I was a huge pussy if I cried in front of her, so I just didn’t say anything and kind of nodded along. I think she thinks that I wasn’t that upset. But I wish I had said that she was killing me.”

11. Michael, 23

“I remember one time we went on a trip to visit some of my friends at their school and she asked me why I was friends with such losers. She spent the whole time making fun of them and criticizing everything they did, and just generally being awful to be around. She was jealous that I was spending time with them and that we were so close. I wish I had told her that she was right to hate them, because I enjoyed their company more than hers. Because they weren’t assholes.”

12. Emma, 31

“She told me that she was leaving and I didn’t listen to her, because I thought I could keep convincing her to stay with me. I should have just said, “Okay.”

13. David, 22

“I wish I had told her that she was the best thing that ever happened to me. I didn’t tell her enough.”

14. Matt, 32

“That I hated her friends. She has terrible fucking friends, and they make her a worse person. She might even be the perfect girl if her friends weren’t such vapid pieces of shit.”

15. Chloe, 25

“I tried to hurt him when we were in the middle of our really long breakup by telling him that I was more attracted to his best friend. It’s probably the meanest thing I’ve ever done, and I’m pretty sure he’s still really self-conscious about it. I don’t even think his best friend is cute. I wish I had told him that it wasn’t true.”

16. Mark, 27

“That she deserves to be happy.”

17. Akilah, 20

“I wish I had been kinder to him, that I had listened to him when he was going through a hard time. I never wanted to deal with his problems, and I never made him feel better about himself. I wish I had just said, “You’re okay, I love you.”

18. Michelle, 41

“That I didn’t want kids.”

19. Sara, 25

“His dick was NOT that big.”

20. Kellie, 26

“He made me feel like I was so ugly and like he was doing me a favor by being with me. Like he was embarrassed to be seen with me. I wish I had told him ‘goodbye.’ I wish I had been strong enough to call it off, because I knew that he was going to do it in the end anyway. And he did. It would have been nice to do it in my own way.”

21. Lucas, 29

“That my mom never liked her.”

22. Camille, 23

“He thought he was such a great cook, and he would have our friends over all the time to eat, and no one ever liked the stuff he made. People would try to tell me to tell him so they didn’t hurt his feelings, but I never did. I should have told him that no one liked it. He used to make this chicken cooked in olives and it tasted like eating vinegar. I get sick just thinking about it.”

23. Oliver, 23

“I wish I had told her anything. Instead I kept my mouth shut about everything, and she won’t speak to me.” Thought Catalog Logo Mark

image – Gianni Cumbo

About the author

Chelsea Fagan

Chelsea Fagan founded the blog The Financial Diet. She is on Twitter.

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