23 Weird Things That Every Big Sister Does For Her Little Sister

1. Pretending not to know that the little sister read your diary/journal/embarrassing personal blog. Sometimes it’s unacceptable, but sometimes they are just going through a hard time.

2. Actually talking about said weird journal, because they need to know that you went through all the same stuff, too.

3. Making the little sister pinky swear that she will not tell a SOUL about your Xanga.

4. Acting as a distraction for when the little sister comes home late after a night out partying, but then reminding her that she won’t be so lucky next time.

5. Acquiring alcohol.

6. Handing over said alcohol like it’s a golden chalice filled with rubies and diamonds, and hoping that the little sister will be responsible with her bounty (but knowing that she won’t).

7. Jumping in at the holiday dinner table when the little sister starts getting too many awkward questions about her future and her plans.

8. Warning her about high school — from teachers who work around SparkNotes, to the tables in the cafeteria you don’t want to sit at.

9. Warning her about college — from loans, to the kinds of guys to avoid at house parties.

10. Chasing her through the entire house when you cannot find your favorite party dress and you know where it has gone, and that it probably has something spilled down the front of it.

11. Teaching the little sister about all of the parental rules that are set in stone, and all the rules that can be bent and/or broken if need be.

12. Helping with SATs, then with college apps, then with resumes and cover letters. (Even if you aren’t sure how good yours were in the first place.)

13. Getting mad at her for “copying” you, but secretly being really flattered and moved that she admires you enough to do what you do.

14. Teaching her what to expect in relationships, and what to look out for — even if you know that you’re going to be comforting her soon enough when she makes the exact same mistakes that you did.

15. Getting drunk with the little sister for the first time, and thinking over and over again “MY LITTLE SISTER IS DRUNK??!?!”

16. Stealing stuff from her constantly and justifying it by saying “You stole tons of shit from me growing up, now that she has cute shit, it’s my turn.”

17. Being the ultimate example of coolness for her, even if you are totally not cool by anyone else’s standards.

18. Making really gross food that only the two of you like and grew up with, so you two can eat it in giant bowls in front of the TV.

19. Talking to her about periods, boobs, and that cramps don’t get any better. Sorry.

20. Hiding stuff from your parents for her.

21. Lecturing her on things that you aren’t going to tell your parents about, because that would be too harsh, but she still needs a lecture about.

22. Warning her, the first time she falls in love, about the fact that it might not end perfectly — and then being there for her to cry to when it doesn’t end perfectly.

23. Driving her around before she gets her license, and then using her as her personal chauffeur when she has her. Because what’s a little sister, after all, if not a beloved personal butler? (Just kidding. Please don’t tell mom and dad.)