The 23 Most Amazing Feelings A Woman Can Experience

1. When another girl gives you a compliment, especially when said girl has what you perceive to be excellent taste levels, and the compliment is made about something that you worked really hard on (such as a painstaking blowout).

2. When you try on something in a size smaller (either because it’s the only one left, or you’re feeling zesty) and it actually fits. Do not feel bad if this leads you to do sexy poses and/or an endzone dance in the dressing room, as both of these are perfectly appropriate reactions.

3. Getting the very last adorable sale item, which is both perfectly your size and completely unscathed by gross makeup stains from a billion girls trying it on before you.

4. Going up to the cash register and finding out that said sale item is, in fact, more discounted than you thought it was and you are paying less than what you had already mentally prepared yourself to pay.

5. When you are sexually active, and your period comes right on time.

6. When your period waits until after a big event or vacation to come. Also when it happens at a time when you are completely able to deal with it and not, say, at work, or asleep on white sheets. (No one wants to wake up to the Texas Chainsaw Massacre on the crotch area of their bedding.)

7. Having one of those multiple-hour-long phone calls or Skype sessions with a girlfriend where you catch up on everything that has happened since you last spoke, and there isn’t a moment of dead air or small talk.

8. Going out to eat with a girlfriend who is totally non-judgy and awesome about food, where you can both order whatever you want and not have to worry about putting a weird disclaimer on every thing you put in your mouth.

9. Arriving home at the end of the day and immediately removing your bra, often without taking off your shirt. (The next step is, of course, flinging the bra across the room with complete abandon and hoping it lands on a chair so you don’t have to go pick it up off the floor.)

10. Getting within a block of your apartment after a long night out in agonizing heels, and reaching that “Fuck it, hope there aren’t any hypodermic needles on this city street” moment where you just take off your shoes and let your wounded little feet walk home barefoot.

11. Finishing your second glass of white wine and feeling that perfect amount of buzzed that makes you believe you’re a bored housewife whose hobbies include smoking those weird, skinny cigarettes and fucking younger men.

12. Using a high-quality vibrator for the first time. *Raises hand and closes eyes as if in church*

13. Receiving an item of clothing or an accessory as a gift that you actually love and would have bought for yourself.

14. Being just the right amount of twisted to really appreciate hearing such things as “Turn My Swag On” by Soulja Boy, and having it come on at the bar at that exact moment.

15. Dancing in a circle with all of your girlfriends and not even caring that someone is going to make a comment about how you all look like an anthropomorphic Dane Cook joke, because fuck the haters.

16. Having the whole public bathroom to yourself when you have to do a number two, so that you don’t have to do that horrible “silent stand-off” with the woman two stalls down from you.

17. Finding a porn that actually does something for you, as opposed to the vast majority of porn, which just gives you a vague feeling of “That poor woman’s vagina, why?”

18. Getting your nails done and feeling, if even for that fleeting moment when you walk out of the salon, like you finally have your shit together and can take on the whole world with your flawless, professional nails.

19. Successfully managing a hairdo that withstands an entire day’s worth of use and doesn’t start slowly falling as the bobby pins dig into your head from every angle.

20. Finding a shampoo that repairs your split ends and doesn’t require you to spend half your paycheck every time you need a new bottle.

21. Getting a head massage while having your hair washed before a cut. Mmmm, shampoo massages. Mmmm.

22. When you are out drinking in some sort of outdoor scenario and you have to go pee and, like some kind of urinating guardian angel, another girl is like “I’ll go cover for you if you cover for me,” and then the two of you go pee together in some discreet corner.

23. Going to bed with a guy (or girl) you really like for the first time, and finding that — in addition to be this awesome, perfect person that you are so, so into — they actually know how to go down on a girl, and don’t just indiscriminately nibble on your lady bits until you fake an orgasm. This is the moment where you have a silent hi five with Jesus, and thank him for always looking out for you, even though you’re kind of a mess.