21 Things That Just Aren’t Fair, So You Might As Well Get Over Them

1. Some people are born into families and circumstances which, despite their clearly limited talents or abilities in any given field, will yield the kind of opportunities and luxuries that most of us will never experience.

2. Said people will always insist that their position at birth was simply a “foot in the door,” and nothing more, even though anyone with even a passing knowledge of the professional world knows that said “foot in the door” is the most crucial part.

3. Many people throughout your life are going to start off with the promise of good friendship and real understanding, only to quickly reveal themselves as a friend you can only engage in shallow, superficial party interactions with.

4. Some people are the kind of people who stand up their dates, and sometimes you are unlucky enough to accept a night out with them. And you’ll be the one sitting at the bar, playing on your phone, transforming slowly from “worried” to “humiliated.”

5. The perception that a lot of people in life have — people whose approval you may need or want for any number of reasons — is going to hinge on your appearance and how “cool” you seem to them. They will not be interested in you as a person, even if you treat them with nothing but respect and compassion.

6. You will not be invited to some things, from parties to dinners to intimate nights with a few friends. And most of the time, it’s not an intentional slight, so no one will even realize that it hurt your feelings.

7. Sometimes your crush will not be interested in you even remotely, and will pick someone else over you who doesn’t share their interests, or know them on as intimate a level as you do. And that’s likely exactly what they are looking for.

8. The styles you really like in this season’s clothes may very well not look good on you, even if yours is a common body type which you imagine the designers would want to be able to sell to.

9. You can pour your heart out in a letter to someone you love and truly care about, only to have them not respond or to dash off a few meaningless lines in return. And even in the face of their rejection, forgetting them will be something that your whole being refuses to do.

10. Even when you follow the recipe to the letter, sometimes it’s going to come out tasting and looking horrendous.

11. Sometimes the thing someone chose to study in school ends up proving very useful and relevant, and they have a smooth transition into a nice job that they like, even if they have what is perceived as a “pointless” degree.

12. Sometimes the thing someone chose to study, despite being a very good investment by almost all measurements, yields almost nothing in the way of job prospects upon graduation and leaves them feeling like their whole education was a waste of time.

13. Job applications/cover letters/resumes may often not be read or even opened, no matter how hard you worked on them.

14. Because they are from a generation that never lived with the kind of job market and debt that we currently face, the snide judgments and comments of older people in your family or community are something you’ll never really be able to get rid of.

15. There are certain people who are incapable of keeping secrets or taking in personal information without rendering judgment, and sometimes you don’t know who they are until it’s too late.

16. Sometimes the hottest dates are the worst kissers.

17. Some of the people who have the things you’ve always wanted but haven’t found — a loving relationship, a successful career, a beautiful apartment — are not going to appreciate them. They won’t take care of them the way you believe they should.

18. People will say “I’m broke” when they just mean “I spend too much money and I should really go to fewer brunches this week,” and you are actually broke.

19. The nights you painstakingly plan often end up being a bust or a mild disappointment, while the evenings which just kind of pop up out of nowhere become the nights you remember forever.

20. Sometimes public transportation will seem out to fuck you over personally, and you will end up late to something important, and no one will really believe your story about the subway, then the bus, then the bike share. So you will have to live in your multilayered frustration all by yourself.

21. No matter what it is you choose to do with your life, how you want to make money, or who you want to be in love with, you are going to be upsetting someone. There is going to be someone who looks at your life, even when it has absolutely no bearing on their own, and feels personally affronted enough by your decision to be an asshole and make disdainful comments about it. This is only a poor reflection on them, and realizing they don’t matter as quickly as possible is the best course of action you can take. TC mark

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image – Evil Erin

Chelsea Fagan

Chelsea Fagan founded the blog The Financial Diet. She is on Twitter.

Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

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