7 Things That Happen When You Fall In Love
You essentially take a long walk off a short pier of respectful, timely communication and sequester yourself into a love-cave to grow a sex-beard à la Rip Van Winkle.
1. Everything seems like no big deal.
When you fall in love, you essentially become that chiseled action star who is inexplicably covered in motor oil and wearing a ripped-to-shreds wifebeater, walking away from a burning building whilst lighting a cigarette. No matter what is going on around you, you couldn’t care less. Stupid problems at work that used to nag at you in the wee hours when you were trying to finally get some sleep are now easily waved away with a laugh and a “Office politics are for people who aren’t getting laid so magnificently.” You’re just riding above it all, floating by on a cloud of pheromones and five-hour dinner dates.
2. You want the same thing for all of your friends.
Though you run a high risk of becoming that obnoxious, condescending friend who constantly coos over their less lucky-in-love friends and tells them about how they “soooooo deserve it” in their own lives, there is something charming about the person who has become love’s cheerleader. You just know how wonderful all your friends are and how happy they would make someone if they were just given the chance by the cold, indifferent universe. You can’t help it, love is a social drug and you are looking to cut up some lines for everyone at the house party.
3. You have no time for anyone.
It’s a double-edged sword, this whole “supporting your friends in love” thing, because as much as you want all of the most wonderful things in life to happen to them, you have absolutely no time to actually deal with them. Entire weeks go by where you don’t really answer your phone unless it is a text or a cutesy, emoticon-laden message about the movie the two of you are going to watch tonight. You essentially take a long walk off a short pier of respectful, timely communication and sequester yourself into a love-cave to grow a sex-beard à la Rip Van Winkle.
4. Everything seems possible.
Your new love talks about how the two of you should go on a vacation in Italy this summer and do that so-corny-but-so-tempting gondola thing on a canal while gazing longingly into each other’s perfect eyes. And even though the more reasonable part of your brain knows that this is absolutely not an option, you are perfectly ready to set fire to your entire checking account and quit your job for a two-week stint holding hands through Europe. You just don’t care, and everything can happen if you put in some effort and a sprinkling of that Love Magic.
5. You become “that guy.”
You don’t want to be that guy. You don’t want to spend an entire three-course meal canoodling on the same side of a restaurant table and stopping every five minutes on the walk home to suck into one another’s faces like some kind of yin yang made out of tapeworms. But you will, and you know this.
6. Even the worst things become charming.
A rude, snobby old lady walks across the street while the light is red and yells at the taxi driver who clearly had the right of way and yet still swerved dangerously out of his way to miss her and accommodate her blatant jay walking. She hits the back of his cab with the tip of her ivory cane as he pulls away, screaming something about how he should get his eyes checked before she calls her lawyer and gets him thrown in jail for the rest of his miserable life. You sigh and think, “Aww, old people are so kooky and adorable.”
7. You don’t understand why everyone isn’t as pumped as you.
Your whole life is now the opening scene of Beauty and the Beast where all of the charming townspeople are popping out of their shop windows to tell you good morning and compliment you on your hair. Your brain has managed to filter out every single aspect of life that isn’t amazing, and you can’t understand why everyone else doesn’t think that the morning commute isn’t an excerpt from a musical. “Come on guys,” you say, “It’s so beautiful out! Let’s have a picnic!!” You wipe the stray piece of hail from your shoulder as lightning flashes and your friends run for cover under a non-metal object. You hum the first few bars of “What A Wonderful World” and quietly wonder why people just willfully choose to be bitter about things. 
