1. Cleaning out your closet, which currently has about a dozen clothing items you never wear and several shoes which are clearly abused beyond any kind of repair.
2. Taking your laundry out of the dryer. (Come on, it’s been in there for three episodes of Mad Men.)
3. Calling your grandparents and asking them how they are and what they’ve been up to these days — if they don’t pass out from shock at the effort you’re displaying by calling them in the first place.
4. Apologizing to someone you know you owe an apology to.
5. Responding to that Facebook message you got from that person you don’t really like that much but don’t have the heart to delete because it would make you look like an ass for no reason.
6. Renewing/updating your driver’s license.
7. Updating your blog, as you’ve basically just been filling it with pictures of BBC shows and delicious-looking food for the past several months and you might as well be dead at this point.
8. Finally completing the task that is in that browser window you’ve had open for about three weeks.
9. Throwing away all of the things in your refrigerator which are either clearly expired or definitely should be at this point.
10. Actually cleaning out the shelving and whatnot in your refrigerator, which you’re pretty sure you’ve never done.
11. Opening all the mail that isn’t personal or delicious-looking takeout menus.
12. Writing thank-you notes for everything people have ever been nice to you for, because you have literally never done it once even though you know it’s the right thing to do.
13. Going to visit your friend who lives, like, 20 minutes away by car but might as well live on the other side of the planet for how often you’re too lazy to make the drive.
14. Watching that show that everyone won’t stop talking about and you basically get mad every time you see something about it because you’re not in on the joke.
15. Buying anything that is somewhat essential and isn’t food, booze, or entertainment.
16. Investing in spare lightbulbs because you’re tired of having to make a special trip to the grocery store every time one of them goes out.
17. Replacing the smoke alarm battery that has been beeping for the last several decades and to the sound of which you have simply grown accustomed.
18. Deleting all of the people on your friends list who make you near-audibly roll your eyes and go “Ugh what an ass hat” every time you see them say something.
19. Starting that compost heap you’ve been thinking about for the past few years.
20. Trying at least one of the several thousand recipes you are constantly blogging/pinning/drooling over but never actually attempting.
21. Asking your crush out on a date because you are fairly positive they are never going to take the initiative to do it themselves.
22. Working out in general.
23. Responding to all of the emails that you have let pile up in your inbox for the past few months because, come on, typing is hard.
24. Buying fresh-cut flowers for your apartment. You think it will make everything nice and beautiful and feel so much better AND YOU ARE RIGHT.