Thought Catalog

10 Disney Princes And Whether Or Not You Should Marry Them

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We all know that no one is more of a model for your own future knight-in-shining-armor than a good, old-fashioned Disney Prince. While some may be less desirable than others, for a variety of reasons, we know that at the end of the day, they are the kind of guy you will ride off into the sunset with and, according to their movies, literally never encounter a single problem with. What kind of real-life guy could offer such stability? None. Here, a guide for your future animated romances.

1. Prince Charming, Cinderella

Arguably the original Prince, the one whose romantic decision-making skills rest largely on whether or not your foot is cute, Charming presents the kind of guy you should only be with if you are looking to move up socially. Most similar to a real Prince, in that he’s suffering from intense family pressure to marry, and he’s definitely not interested in being seen with your ugly sisters, it seems logical that a girl looking to get a nice-sized ring put on it would choose Charming. But beware, as a guy so easily swayed by his foot fetish is likely not going to hold out well in the long-term, what with calluses and everything.

Husband Material Rating: 6/10

2. Beast, Beauty and the Beast

I know that some of you take your issues with the Beast and his willingness to submit the village bettie to Stockholm Syndrome so easily, but give the guy a break. You’ve been locked in a gothic castle for 20-some years with a bunch of singing furniture, you tell me you won’t take the first thing that walks by your front yard and make it come play some card games with you, even against their will. Regardless of problematic plot points, though, all is inherently forgiven the second he gives that girl a library. Come on, a library. And then as if that weren’t enough, he almost dies for her, and turns into this super-hot guy with that whole sexy Renaissance long-hair look. Keeper if I’ve ever saw one.

Husband Material Rating 10/10

3. Aladdin, Aladdin

As we all know, the best bread is by far some market bread, freshly stolen by the hot, shirtless town thief and his sassy monkey. Though it’s never fully explained why he was so politically opposed to a shirt, but a firm advocate of the tiny purple vest, we’re not here to judge the boy’s fashion sense. I know he essentially used limitless world power to woo a less personable Kim Kardashian, but I remain a firm believer that if he’d gotten her sooner, he would have done something slightly more productive with his wishes. Also, unlimited carpet rides, if you know what I mean, ladiesssss.

Husband Material Rating 7/10

4. Robin Hood, Robin Hood

While it’s clear that, if he were around today, Robin Hood would be the most insufferable of all the Occupy Wall Street protesters, seeing him in his adorable forest context makes you forget his half-baked political ideologies. The guy knew his way around a bow and arrow, he wasn’t afraid to stick it to that pretentious fop of a king, and he carried around satchels of gold coins — by far the most badass way to transport your money. Plus, let’s be honest, the guy was a total fox. (AMIRITE?! AMIRITE?!)

Husband Material Rating: 5/10

5. John Smith, Pocahontas

Imagine that one really super bigoted, ignorant, conservative white-guy in your sociology class who’s just such an enormous ass about everything and you’re forced to explain the most basic concepts to him. Like, he’s the one insisting being gay is a choice and the Native Americans were best friends with the pilgrims. Now, after you explain everything to him, he’s surprisingly receptive and learns to accept that the world around him isn’t just one giant Denny’s. But this is, of course, after a semester of painful coaxing and cajoling. But the thing is, he’s incredibly hot. Is this worth it to you? Probably not.

Husband Material Rating: 3/10

6. Li Shang, Mulan

Professional panty dropper from ancient China, Shang, is the kind of man that will whip a troop of nerds into shape and then turn around and semi-fall in love with what he clearly thinks is a guy. He’s a Renaissance man in every sense of the world, and isn’t going to let a silly thing like gender presentation get in the way of wanting to nail the most admirable of his soldiers. Not to mention, when we don’t have to look at Donny Osmond, his singing voice is like warm butter melting over your ears. Mysterious as the dark side of the mooooon, indeed.

Husband Material Rating: 9/10

7. Prince Eric, The Little Mermaid

Trying my best not to be influenced by his adorable Old English Sheepdog, it must be said that Eric is fairly lame as far as Princes go. Sure, he’s rich and has a sweet castle on the beach and what is hands-down the nicest dining room in Disney history, but what Prince doesn’t have tons of material stuff? What makes Eric such a disappointment is how inactive he is throughout the whole thing. Even a troupe of singing waterfowl wasn’t enough to get him to make out in the boat, he thinks that the evil singing brunette is his girl when the one who saved him was CLEARLY a ginger, and he remains largely indecisive about everything through the story. And let’s be honest, would you really trust a guy who’s ready to marry a girl who’s literally never spoken to him after at least 10 dates? No, you wouldn’t.

Husband Material Rating: 2/10

8. Prince Naveen, The Princess and the Frog

Alright, so you won’t be getting the fortune that normally comes with marrying a prince, but you will be getting a guy that is both super beautiful and willing to give up that beauty to live with you as a frog, if the occasion calls for it. A frog, in a part of America that regularly eats frogs. He’s that into it. And while he is a little high-maintenance, if you’re willing to put in a little work, that penny will shine up bright and new — just in time for you two to go in together on a charming diner and become that cute old couple that runs a restaurant. Who doesn’t want that?

Husband Material Rating: 8/10

9. Hercules, Hercules

Anyone who would choose Meg is good enough for me, hands down, but if you needed another reason — talk about marrying into a good family. Who doesn’t want Rip Torn as your all-powerful father, and a flying horse for transportation? Come on. Not to mention, this pretty packaged packed a pair of pretty pecs. You’ve really won at life if your husband has his face plastered all over Athens and is followed by a Greek chorus that zestily outline his exploits. Who doesn’t want that little short one to emphasize all the funny things you do? No one.

Husband Material Rating: 9/10

10. Tarzan, Tarzan

Let’s be real for a second, Tarzan probably doesn’t smell super good. That whole “rugged wild man” charm only goes so far — at least Bear Grylls takes a shower once in a while. Be that as it may, there are certainly fewer things more appealing than a man who can surf his way around a jungle canopy while wrestling panthers and looking at you with big brown eyes behind some solid white boy dreadlocks. He’s the ultimate gross hippy that’s so hot it kind of works for him, and I’m sure we could all find the patience to teach him his table manners if he promised to continue wearing a loincloth. These are the kinds of compromises one must make in any good Disney marriage.

Husband Material Rating: 7/10 TC mark

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    • becky

      Thank God these men aren’t real.

    • http://twitter.com/jemmehlee Jamie ❤ 。◕

      LOL “mysterious dark side of the moon indeed”

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=507159106 Nikki McGillicuddy

      Prince Eric is by far my favorite. The black hair, light skin, blue eyes, physically, he is my dream dude. The most attractive feature about him is his voice(cue the Ursula tone). His voice could melt my panties off in an ice hotel meat locker.

      • Mojo Jojo

        Agreed. He could melt my boxers off.

        • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=507159106 Nikki McGillicuddy

          A lil’ side note, the actor who voiced prince Eric also did the voice of Spider-Man on the 90’s animated series, and also played Greg Brady in The Brady Bunch movies. I can’t put into words what his voice does to me. 

      • http://profiles.google.com/cowashee Colleen Farrell

        I agree as well! We should like him more BECAUSE he wanted a girl that couldn’t talk, this means that he was Observant! Very important.

        And he was a sailor (at least, he was on a ship) and that is pretty close to being a sexy pirate.

    • Rapunzel

      No Flynn Rider???

      • Anna

        Is Flynn considered a prince? Think they were talking about them at birth..

        well wait a min, they had Aladdin in there.. haha

        • Heidi

          Not to mention Li Shang.

    • Shwax

      He’s a Fox!

    • Mica

      Hercules would be a 10 if you listen to it in Spanish. Ricky Martin is his best shape, baby!

    • Amphx

      Aladdin was pretty much my first crush ever. 

    • Lizzy

      I think Prince Phillip from Sleeping Beauty should have been added to this list.  I mean he risked life and limb to save Princess Aurora with the aid of her fairy godmothers. Plus he fell in love with her before he even knew they were betrothed. He’s definitely one of the most dedicated of the lot.

    • Sophia

      haha loved this!

    • Team Phillip

      What? Prince Phillip (Sleeping Beauty) doesn’t make it on the list? 

      For Christ’s sake, he battles a dragon (and by far the most bad-ass of all Disney villains)  to save the one he loves from a life of non-stop slumber. And let’s not forget about Samson, arguably the best Disney horse ever.  

      PS: Some of these guys aren’t even princes at all!

    • Team Phillip

      Oh, and what about Flynn Rider (aka Eugene) from Tangled?
      Adventure. Intrigue. A beautiful floating lantern lit boat ride. And one of my favorite Disney duets. He’s got the whole bad-boy-who-sees-the-err-of-his-ways thing down pat. Another awesome horse sidekick in Maximus. And let’s not forget about the whole dying to save his lady fair while simultaneously freeing her from her awful mother-impersonating captor by turning her into a brunette. 

      I mean, seriously. 

      • Team Phillip

        And let’s not forget that the voice of Eugene is Zachary Levi of Chuck fame. 

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=713182675 Lyzz Flatt

      There should be a follow-up with the rest of the awesome Disney guys. Flynn Rider and Prince Phillip, as others have already said. Phoebus has the same class difference non-issue as Charming and Cinderella, with an inborn sense of justice and awesome horse sidekick. Quasimodo may not be the easiest on the eyes, but you wouldn’t have to worry about keeping up your own appearance!

    • http://s1ckb1tch.blogspot.com/ Mich

      WHERE’S PRINCE PHILIP?!? Seriously, I don’t see any of the other Disney princes slaying dragons. They’re a bunch of pansies compared to Philip. ;)

    • FishPeople

      My Disney husband is Phoebus from The Hunchback of Notre Dame. Though I actually would not say no to Quasimodo.

    • DSM-V

      So racist snobby guy gets a 3, where the kidnapping batterer gets a perfect because he gives her presents?

      • Benjy

        Lesson learned: Give that bitch a library. Bitches love libraries.

      • Kym

        OKAY STOP THOUGH because even though he kidnapped her, he did it out of desperation and loneliness and even though he made a few mistakes, HE CHANGED INTO A KIND, LOVING, HOT PRINCE WITH A GOLDEN CASTLE AND GOLDEN HAIR SO COULD YOU NOT BE ON THAT HATERADE? sorry, caps lock

      • Kym

        OKAY STOP THOUGH because even though he kidnapped her, he did it out of desperation and loneliness and even though he made a few mistakes, HE CHANGED INTO A KIND, LOVING, HOT PRINCE WITH A GOLDEN CASTLE AND GOLDEN HAIR SO COULD YOU NOT BE ON THAT HATERADE? sorry, caps lock

      • Kym Smithington

        OKAY STOP THOUGH because even though he kidnapped her, he did it out of desperation and loneliness and even though he made a few mistakes, HE CHANGED INTO A KIND, LOVING, HOT PRINCE WITH A GOLDEN CASTLE AND GOLDEN HAIR SO COULD YOU NOT BE ON THAT HATERADE? sorry, caps lock

        • DSM-V

          So abuse out of “desperation” is ok as long as he’s pretty, gives you stuff and has has money?

    • AbbieK

      Eugene Fitzherbert all the way! He should definitely be on this list. Also, I have severe problems with John Smith being considered a prince, considering that “Pocahontas” was the most inaccurate of all Disney films. John Smith was about thirty years older than Pocahontas in reality, and he was certainly never a love interest. Mm hmm.

      • beatrice

        I can’t believe Eugene wasn’t on the list. I’ve spent hours listening to “I see the light” only to be disappointed by the fallibility of real men. 

    • Arianne

      Uhhh first prince was Prince Charming from Snow White!  What about him?  He totally woke her up from eternal sleep death! :)

    • Melissa

      What happened to Prince Phillip… he did kill a dragon! A true hero no?

    • Jessica Ross627

      I used to work in a video store and I played Aladdin on the TV screens all the time. My coworkers made fun of me and tried to tell me that he’s not real, but I got my picture taken with him at Disneyland. Proved them wrong! :)

    • Kaytee0120

      Prince Eric was UNDER A SPELL when he thought ursula’s disguise (Vanessa). So of course he didn’t notice the difference in hair color, his mind was being controlled.
      AND he was being rushed into finding someone to marry or else he was going to lose the throne. His father the king has obviously passed away already so he was being rushed to find a queen. Of course he’s going to have a hard time making a decision!
      He’s a 10/10 for me. I mean seriously, he knew Ariel was a fish and he still wanted to marry her.

    • Kaytee0120

      Prince Eric was UNDER A SPELL when he thought ursula’s disguise (Vanessa). So of course he didn’t notice the difference in hair color, his mind was being controlled.
      AND he was being rushed into finding someone to marry or else he was going to lose the throne. His father the king has obviously passed away already so he was being rushed to find a queen. Of course he’s going to have a hard time making a decision!
      He’s a 10/10 for me. I mean seriously, he knew Ariel was a fish and he still wanted to marry her.

    • Kaytee0120

      Prince Eric was UNDER A SPELL when he thought ursula’s disguise (Vanessa). So of course he didn’t notice the difference in hair color, his mind was being controlled.
      AND he was being rushed into finding someone to marry or else he was going to lose the throne. His father the king has obviously passed away already so he was being rushed to find a queen. Of course he’s going to have a hard time making a decision!
      He’s a 10/10 for me. I mean seriously, he knew Ariel was a fish and he still wanted to marry her.

    • Kaytee0120

      Prince Eric was UNDER A SPELL when he thought ursula’s disguise (Vanessa). So of course he didn’t notice the difference in hair color, his mind was being controlled.
      AND he was being rushed into finding someone to marry or else he was going to lose the throne. His father the king has obviously passed away already so he was being rushed to find a queen. Of course he’s going to have a hard time making a decision!
      He’s a 10/10 for me. I mean seriously, he knew Ariel was a fish and he still wanted to marry her.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_6V5745MAVNJQ24AKMVEK2KJ6SQ Katie

      Prince Eric was UNDER A SPELL when he thought ursula’s disguise (Vanessa). So of course he didn’t notice the difference in hair color, his mind was being controlled.
      AND he was being rushed into finding someone to marry or else he was going to lose the throne. His father the king has obviously passed away already so he was being rushed to find a queen. Of course he’s going to have a hard time making a decision!
      He’s a 10/10 for me. I mean seriously, he knew Ariel was a fish and he still wanted to marry her.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_6V5745MAVNJQ24AKMVEK2KJ6SQ Katie

      Prince Eric was UNDER A SPELL when he thought ursula’s disguise (Vanessa). So of course he didn’t notice the difference in hair color, his mind was being controlled.
      AND he was being rushed into finding someone to marry or else he was going to lose the throne. His father the king has obviously passed away already so he was being rushed to find a queen. Of course he’s going to have a hard time making a decision!
      He’s a 10/10 for me. I mean seriously, he knew Ariel was a fish and he still wanted to marry her.

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