Shrinkage is a real thing!
It’s not funny to hit us in the balls. Ever.
We too, have our “not-in-the-mood” time.
That thing jeans do when you sit down. Yeah, that’s not a boner.
We don’t actually think about sex every seven seconds.
When we say, “We don’t care” we’re not mad, we really just don’t care.
The balls have feelings too.
Looks attract me; personality keeps me. Yeah looks are important at the start, but being smart and being able to hold a good conversation is very important. Girls around me have this idea that being too smart is intimidating or something, and they play dumb. It’s really annoying, because it’s actually a huge turn off, to me anyways.
Sometimes, guys are just being nice for the sake of being nice, not to try to get into your pants.
We have feelings too.
If I’m walking behind you, I am not thinking about raping you; I am thinking about you thinking about me raping you.
Not all guys are looking to just fuck someone; some guys just can’t stand being alone without someone to talk to.
It’s a misconception that men like it when women play hard to get.
Our balls itch and no, we can’t explain why.
Just because your sister is hotter than you, doesn’t mean we’d prefer to fuck her instead of you. Don’t ask us over and over again, that shit is annoying. You will just start a fight because there is no right answer to “Is she more attractive than I am?” if she is working as a model and you are selling insurance.
You can replace the word sister with the word: friend, co-worker, mother, classmate, waitress…just get over it. You’re not a model; we still love you.
We can piss sitting down.. SO did not know this until I mentioned it. She always thought we had to stand up to do it before proceeding to sit down to shit.
Just because I’m gay doesn’t mean I am interested in fashion or gossip. Some gays (and even straights I’d imagine) are, but me being gay doesn’t automatically tick that box.
Sometimes, I just want to cuddle. I’m not constantly thinking about sex.
Sometimes, I just want to be the little spoon.
Flaccid penis size does not correlate what so ever with erect penis size. Some guys are growers, some are showers. Please don’t judge us based on what you see when we are not fully aroused.
We really want to feel beautiful, too. We just don’t have the gear for it. Tell us sometimes that we look something other than “hot” or “good.”
Women constantly say that men will fuck “anything that moves.” That’s absolutely not true. There are literally millions of inanimate objects that most men would also fuck.
We are not plotting scheming and planning in our head. We are mostly thinking about what sounds delicious for dinner or how well our fantasy running back will do against a stout Jets defense. Yes, we might have checked out that girl’s ass, but we already did that 20-30 times this week and the asses have all blended together and command 0% of our memory. You are the only one that remembers our noticing a hot chick.
We’re not that obsessed with breast size, nor do we all prefer larger. Seriously, every time an adult woman thinks she’s less attractive because of her small breasts it shocks me that no one ever told them any better.
Not all of our shoe sizes correlate to the sizes of our shlongs.
Just because I understand male fashion doesn’t make me gay. It would be great if I could just ask out ONE girl without her saying she thought I was gay.
Conversely, just because someone’s gay doesn’t mean they understand male fashion.
I don’t lift weights to look good for you. I do it for myself.
If we’re friends I’ve thought about having sex with you. No exceptions.
Men are just as emotional as women; we’ve just been trained since birth to control our emotions for the benefit of ourselves and those around us.
We like breasts but we love the girl behind them more.
Boners happen, and I’d say about 50%-75% of them happen randomly or without explanation.
Just because I’m not interested in having casual sex ever does not mean you should be offended and call me gay.
Not all straight men like strip clubs.
I heard you the first time.
Just because a man interacts with a random kid doesn’t mean he’s a pedophile. I like kids and a lot of time kids will approach me and interact with me but I dare not strike up a conversation with them in the fear of being pointed out as a creep.
Most of your guy friends will develop feelings for you at some point.
Just because I’m looking at another girl who is good looking, it DOES NOT mean I want to leave you for her, nor does it mean that I’m loving you less because of that.
We appreciate getting asked out. Multiple female friends have told me they will not ask a guy out for fear of emasculating him or appearing too aggressive. Not. Going. To. Happen.
Everyone appreciates positive attention.
We can be victims of domestic violence.
Making us jealous will NOT help us like you more.
I have never met a man who preferred big fake tits to small real tits. I’m sure there are exceptions, but they make up some tiny fraction of the male population.
- We aren’t all assholes. You just choose to date assholes.
- We don’t all cheat. You just date cheating assholes.
- Having a penis does not equate to having money to pay for everything.
- We hear what you say, not what you mean. So mean what you say!
- Our bodies and brains are not just transportation for our cocks…we actually care about shit ya know.
- Most guys are not violent, meat-headed, flat-billed-hat-wearing Neanderthals.
Video Games have zero effect on our life, but they’re fun.
If I get a boner in the middle of the night or morning wood, that does NOT mean that I’m horny. Those boners are actually really annoying or even painful, and if I’m fidgeting with it, I’m just trying to make it go away so I can go back to sleep.
My fiancée always tells me that she’s right there, she wouldn’t mind 4am sex, but I keep trying to explain that it has nothing to do with arousal or being in the mood, my dick is just kinda going rogue.
When we say we want to be left alone for a little while, we want to be left alone for a little while.
I once heard that men fall more and more in love with the woman they are attracted to while women become more and more attracted to the man that they love. Not sure of the source but I think it generally rings true.
If there are two possible interpretations of something I have said to you, the one that doesn’t piss you off is the way I meant it. If I’m actually trying to piss you off I’m not going to be coy or cute about it.
Sometimes I’m scared to go get stuff from the attic, spiders are terrifying. But I do it anyways.
Guys can be self-conscious about body stuff. Some of us care about how we look/what people think of us/if we’re too fat or skinny or whatever. Image issues are not just a girl thing, and culture promotes an unrealistic set of expectations for what constitutes a good-looking guy just like it does for women.