At some point in every toxic relationship you’ve got to ask yourself, how much is too much? When frustration and sadness outweigh happiness and joy? When you’ve cried more tears alone than you’ve shared laughs together? At some point you’ve got to look out for yourself and you know that. People are willing to withstand a longer beating when it’s emotional instead of physical, but just think — if someone were repeatedly punching you in the arm you may take a few blows but eventually you’d break. Patience would run out and you’d strike back – or at the very least, get away from the assaulter.
It’s just a matter of realizing when that breaking point has been reached. Unfortunately we don’t always have a specific occurrence that will trigger us hastily finding the nearest exit. Everyday people are cheated on, cussed out, physically harmed, mentally abused – very nasty stuff that you might think it would be easy to leave behind. It’s not always that simple for everyone. Some people want to believe in others to change, to give the person they care for the benefit of the doubt, to holdout hope that one-day things will be better. It’s not always the smart decision, but the smart decision isn’t always the easy one to make, much less follow through on.
Two good people can hurt each other. There’s a misconception that at least one evil party is required for an unhealthy connection, but that’s not the case. Whether it’s between friends or lovers, there can be mistakes made or unfortunate circumstances that lead to one or two genuinely good people unintentionally (or purposefully) doing hurtful things. These are the hardest scenarios. When there’s no distinct bad guy, no clear antagonist or villain to point fingers at. When it’s angel vs. angel… or devil vs. devil.
Whatever the scenario may be, there comes a time when we have to recognize that it just isn’t working out. The friendship isn’t functioning, the girlfriend isn’t making you happy, the boyfriend isn’t treating you the way you deserve to be treated – anything along those lines. It’s never good to quit on people. To give up on a person you care for who is trying and failing is a bad thing, but to cut ties with an individual who is giving zero effort, yet doing a number on your heart makes sense. It’s justifiable. Someone who wants to do right by you but doesn’t always have the right answers or deliver your desires eloquently is usually still worth maintaining a link with. So simply ask yourself – who isn’t?
If there’s a name that instantly comes to mind as a candidate, chances are they deserve every bit of consideration to be removed from your life. Contemplate it. No, there’s no set equation. You can’t take the number of times they’ve made you cry + the number of times they’ve made you smile, divided by time spent in the past week and get a solution. This isn’t mathematical; there are no right answers, only high risks. It’s based off of past experiences and your recollection of how they’ve made you feel. If you’re going to continue to hold someone near your heart, or even hand them the damn thing, they’re going to be capable of damaging it. Just decide, if a potentially broken heart or pain and suffering are worth the alternative of things going well. Damages vs. benefits. The best-case scenario should be worth the risk of the worst case panning out if you’re going to invest that much emotion in a person. Some people aren’t worth keeping around. I know this, you know this – but it’s your unique decision who you surround yourself with and who you dispose of.