“It’s your own fault.”
“You should’ve known better.”
“How could you be so dumb?”
“I hope you learned your lesson.”
Those are a few things people may say to you when you’ve had sex with a guy and he hasn’t called or texted you back. But first, let me tell you, I am not going to say any of those things. I am not going to tell you that you made a mistake. I am not going to slut shame you.
Instead, I am going to say I apologize. I apologize on behalf of that guy, because he isn’t going to say he’s sorry. But I am. I am sorry that you were mislead, I am sorry that you are upset. And I am sorry that, unfortunately, this happens in today’s dating world.
We’ve all been there. We’ve gotten too drunk, we’ve gotten caught up in the moment, we’ve gotten love-struck too quickly. We needed a hook up, we needed to be close to someone physically. We needed to feel love even though it wasn’t love. We were told that he cared, we were under the impression that this would go somewhere. We thought that it was harmless. Or we weren’t thinking at all. Whatever happened, it happened. And now he has pulled the ultimate douchebag move by not calling or texting you back. He’s ignoring you, he’s ghosting, he’s indifferent towards your feelings. It was just sex, it didn’t mean anything, he doesn’t think you’re a human being who deserves to be treated with respect. Maybe because he doesn’t think you treat yourself with respect, maybe because he’s rude, maybe because he doesn’t care.
I want you to know that you do deserve to be treated with respect.
You do deserve that call or text. It doesn’t matter if you hopped into bed too fast. It doesn’t matter if it was only sex to both of you. It doesn’t matter if you don’t see potential in the relationship. It doesn’t matter if you cared about him, it doesn’t matter if you wanted something more, it doesn’t matter if you got emotionally involved. None of that matters. The situation and circumstance does not matter, because whichever way you feel, you deserve to be contacted after being intimate with a guy.
Girl, if you need your hook up, go out and get it. I support the hoe life, as long as you’re being safe. But just know that you are putting yourself at risk for heartbreak. You’ll tell yourself it’s only sex. And hey, maybe it is! But the bottom line is that your body is your temple. You deserve to be treated with dignity.
So even if you just want to have casual sex, make sure you aren’t setting yourself up for disaster.
Whether you have feelings for the dude or not, it definitely doesn’t feel good to be ignored after you just gave a piece of yourself to someone.
So like I said, I’m not going to tell you to learn a lesson from this. Instead I am going to ask that you remember how you felt the last time you slept with a guy and he ghosted. Not good, right? Try to take care of your heart, as well as your body. Protect yourself emotionally and physically. You rock and your awesomeness should be recognized with a follow-up. None of this is your fault! The heartless actions of a guy cannot be blamed on you.
Just keep moving forward and know that not all guys are scum. Yes, the majority may be. But if you’re smart, you’ll share intimacy with one who dials the day after.