In creating distance between your body and that which has tried to burn it, don’t abandon your sense of self in the wreckage. It’s easy to let tragedy change you and while, yes, it’s impossible to remain entirely static within the eye of a storm, you don’t need to let the rain wash away everything you’ve spent so long becoming. Reassess your survival tactics; obscuring your emotional response to the world is not a strength. You are most powerful when you acknowledge the validity of your experiences.
You’ve been sitting underneath a cloud of pessimism for so long now that you can hardly remember how light feels on your skin. Sure, the world has given you more than enough reason to be comfortable in the dark, but that doesn’t mean you’re meant for a life that renders sunscreen and sunglasses unnecessary. Look for the holes in your logic and use them as peepholes. You weren’t always like this, allowing ungrounded certainty to make your decisions for you. Take a close look at your worst habits. How many of them can you rid yourself of?
What is the last thing you think about before going to bed, when you’re staring at the ceiling on the brink of utter exhaustion? Is it something that you have, or something that you don’t? Start questioning the feelings and routines you accept as fact: nothing is certain unless you want it to be. Instead of ruminating on certain issues for months at a time, treat them as though they’re mutable and do something about them. You’re destined for much greater things than that which continues to echo.
You have a tendency to make elaborate plans for yourself and then never follow through with them. A result of this is that you’re good with excuses, so good that you can often fool yourself into believing them; but there’s a part of you that still knows the truth, isn’t there? It’s easy to overlook the negativity of a relationship or a situation when you’re in the midst of an uneventful period, but you have to remember that sometimes apologies and days of laughter just can’t make up for the nights spent with tears on your face, wondering why you never feel like enough.
Stop trying to focus on every aspect of your life at once, and accept that you aren’t always going to be in control. I know that giving yourself leeway isn’t something that you’ve ever been comfortable doing, but when you juggle too much…breaking becomes inevitable. Don’t force yourself into situations that demand what you’re unable to provide. Remember that you’re allowed to say “no” without providing a good reason as to why, and that you shouldn’t have to feel guilt because of that.
You go through phases faster than anyone else you’ve ever met, and your reasoning for this traces back to a desire to experience life in all its brilliance. But is that really what it’s about? Or are you still unsure of who exactly you want to be? Because if that’s the case, if you’re masking feelings of uncertainty, I want you to know that it’s okay to be on the edge of decisions. It takes time to become comfortable with anybody, and our own selves aren’t excluded from that. Try out as many different versions of yourself as you need to. Embrace what makes you feel alive.
It’s extremely difficult to balance what you want with what you know is true, and lately, this has been causing you problems. People expect a lot from you, and they don’t always attempt to understand why you hesitate and overthink before acting. Find the intersections that exist between your priorities and try to expand their scope. I know you like to weigh every aspect of a situation equally, but don’t shy away from being honest about what means more or less to you. The only person you hurt by avoiding what you’re on the verge of is yourself.
Oftentimes you push closure to the side in favor of moving forward. While this isn’t inherently a bad thing, your ability to persevere despite extraneous circumstances, it definitely contributes to the restless nature of your personality. Devote more of your time to tying up loose ends and less to filling the void with that which you know won’t be able to stay. Sometimes the greatest thing we can do for ourselves is act with our hearts in mind. Start asking yours about what it beats for.
Your timeline doesn’t need to line up with anyone else’s in order to be legitimate. If your soul is aching, your soul is aching. Sometimes there isn’t a lot that can be done about that, but there are actions you can take in order to make sure that the ache doesn’t spread any more than it has to. You shouldn’t feel guilty for taking a break, or slowing down, if that’s what you need to do. In times of strife, look to creative outlets and utilize them. Explore the things that allow you to exhale.
A lot of the time it seems as though things are going well for you, until they aren’t. And just like that the high you were riding is gone, replaced by intrusive thoughts saying that nothing is ever going to get better. Try to hold on a little longer before deciding that you’re headed downhill again. Positive thinking and self-care aren’t always enough, but it does make it a lot easier to withstand the negative. Find that which makes you feel lighter, and hold onto that feeling. You will live in that place, someday.
Confrontation is something that you’ve become an expert at avoiding, but this hasn’t come without cost. The words that you’ve been leaving unsaid haven’t disappeared, they’ve accumulated. Think about the things you regret: how much of that hurt would’ve been eased through an honest conversation or two? Don’t underestimate your bravery, and remember that the anticipation of an unavoidable event is always worse than the actual occurrence Take a deep breath, and dive in.
Your idea of happiness involves feeling as though you’re heard, but you seem to forget that your willingness to open up is directly tied to this. In the past, your emotions have been viewed in the same way zoo animals are, and the sensation of being at the center of everything is hard to shake. But not everyone is going to treat you as though you’re something to ogle at. Stop making your joy something that’s dependent on the misguided actions of others. Open up your heart again. We only have so much time to experience love.