The Honest Reason Why We Sabotage Our Relationships
RomanceBreaking Up

The Honest Reason Why We Sabotage Our Relationships

True love knows no boundaries. It makes us look inside ourselves and discover our deepest, darkest fears. It makes us question our sanity, and question ourselves.

Am I doing the right thing? Am I making the right choice? Why does this person like me? What do they see in me, and why can’t I see it too?

I’ve learned an important lesson about self-sabotage in the past year, and I’m coming to realize that my desire to run away from things that are good for me wasn’t out of fear of being in love; it was out of fear of truly loving myself.

If we don’t deal with our demons, they can get in the way of our desires. If we believe we are not good enough, then the people we love will believe it too.

Unfortunately for a lot of us, the fear of not being good enough can persuade us to choose fear over love. It can capture our hearts and take out the very essence of what makes humans the most powerful species in the world; our ability to transcend our ego and return to love.

Choosing love is never easy. Finding the people that make us look inside ourselves and challenge us is even harder. We run from the ones that can open our hearts, because we don’t want to feel the pain that comes from sharing and accepting our insecurities.

We sabotage time and time again. We let ourselves fall over and over for the people who don’t deserve us because they don’t challenge us. We choose the people who we think are perfect, when they are just perfect at pretending.

The truth is, nobody is perfect. Love is not perfect. The thing to truly strive for is not perfection, and the foundation of love is not fear. We are not our flaws, but we must accept them. We are not our mistakes, but we must live with them.

I’m finding love and peace within myself every day and learning that people who are not at peace with themselves will not understand my struggle. The ones who are not trying feverishly to accept themselves, will not accept me, but instead, try to come in between my quest for love and my journey towards self-fulfillment.

Some people will not let love in. They won’t let you love them and they will be resentful if you find love because they have not found love in themselves. A big part of the journey of finding love and truly falling in love is encountering people who will get in the way of that. But the greater and more important part of the journey is remembering that your ability to love and be loved in return is much more powerful than playing the victim and seeking vengeance.

The weak will never beat the strong. Fear will never beat love. And if you have love in your heart, you have the most powerful gift in the world. Don’t allow yourself to sabotage love for self-pity. Don’t listen to the ones telling you-you’re not good enough.

We all deserve love. Just love yourself first, and you’ll find it. TC mark

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About the author
Brynn is a 20-something-year-old girl who has more experience with love than she bargained for. Follow Brynn on Instagram or read more articles from Brynn on Thought Catalog.

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