18 Men Reveal The Tinder Messages That Immediately Turn Them Off


Data gathered from real Men on Reddit


I got invited over after about 20 minutes of messaging late at night. I’ve never done the random app hookup before (I’ve only ever gone on 2 dates even), but this girl was smokin, so I was thinking about it.

I had her tell me where to find her twitter or FB to confirm she’s real, and after I agreed to meet up, she mentions, “Oh, and it’s okay if my boyfriend watches right? He might want to trade out some, but you wouldn’t have to do anything with him.”

I’m ashamed of how long I considered it before unmatching her. I hope she was a troll…

— 91Bolt


We match, she’s really pretty and a freakin’ doctor. Cool. Send a few dozen messages back and forth. She always responds with very short answers, and in dozens of texts she hasn’t asked me a SINGLE question about me. She’s not interested, whatever, I take the hint and let it die out (not too hard in this case).

A few days later she asks her first question: Why haven’t I been messaging her lately? I told her there wasn’t any natural flow to the conversations. She then tells me I must be a horrible conversationalist, because she’s always very easy to talk to.

Oddly, if somebody had just outright insulted me or similar I’d be less irked by this. But the idea that she genuinely believes the problem lies elsewhere, to me, says a lot more about a person.

— vbnm345


“Idk lol” in response to every question I asked :/ why match with me if you’re not going to talk?

Ironically, she put in her profile that she was after a good conversation first…

— Nobuta


Opening message, “What height are you?”, shitty question as is but I already have my height in my bio to weed out the ones that care.

— DarkangelUK


“I am looking to meet single men! Please visit my profile at [url shortened link] to message me! remember bring credit card!”

— SAIUN666


It was OKCupid, but I did get a woman ranting about how much she hated hats and how every man was trying to rape her, so that was interesting.

— JaronK


Work a $30k admin assistant job but only date guys making over $150k.

— so_dope24


Was living in one of the suburbs of Toronto (Mississauga), woman responded about 2 months after I first contacted her to ask if I was REALLY in Mississauga – because I was otherwise perfect, but she’d rather stick a rusty fork in her eye than date someone from outside the city.

— Cockalorum


One chick spoke to me eloquently and we chatted for two days about life. On the second night, says she’s super turned on and wants to meet for drinks. I was out with friends, I picked the closest bars within 10 minutes of me and told her I was game. Send her the info. She scoffs and calls me a desperate small dick Asian. Sad thing is she’s not the first racist I’ve come across. Really turned me off to Tinder.

— awkwardnubbings


Her – Do you have any aids?

Me – No, I fired my last one.

— youreallmeatanyway


“You’re very cute and any girl on here will be lucky to have you”

Grandma for the last time get off of tinder!

— HombreUltima


“You want to come over? Right now.

Before my boyfriend gets back.”


— Stratisphear


“I am OBSESSED with Disney movies”

Seemed like a trend. Shit is creepy.

— ShrubsLI


Grown women who wear Disney character clothing freak me out. You are 41. In no way should you be wearing a Pooh-bear hoodie.

— endergrrl


After a bit of mindless swiping, I matched with a female bot who sent me the delightful message: “Want to fuck my dick hole”

— NightKnight11291


I had a match ask me to buy her a 30 rack of beer. That was her opener. I responded with “Hello to you too…”

Her response to that was “Sorry, Hi! So are you gunna buy me that 30 rack or what?”

I ignored her.

— Loverboy_91


“I want to wrap my legs around your face and have you wear me like a feedbag.”

— TimetravelingGuide


When people expect you to respond immediately to their messages. Here’s my story:

I just got one from a girl I went out on a date with last night. The date wasn’t fantastic but she was nice. She sent me a message last night after the date thanking me for a nice night. I woke up this morning and wrote her back at about 8:30 a.m. saying I had a nice time then went about my day. She wrote me at 9 a.m. asking me to hang out again, but did it in that weird way where they ask you to hang out but also include a “unless you don’t want to”, which is kind of off-putting in itself.

I had seen that she sent me a message but I hadn’t checked it because I didn’t have time to respond because I’ve been incredibly busy. Twenty minutes ago (about 9:30 p.m.), I finally got a chance to sit down for the first time all day and just checked my phone. She wrote me at about 9 p.m. saying that she didn’t think she had given that bad an impression that I wouldn’t respond. Then she wished me “good luck” and told me to “take care”.

This is incredibly off-putting because it’s so passive-aggressive, demanding and accusatory. Sometimes people get busy and they don’t respond because a person they’ve been on one date with demands it. Just because I have a cell phone doesn’t mean that responding to text messages is a priority of mine. I’ll respond when I get around to it when I have the time to respond thoughtfully. This shit is so off-putting, like my silence was meant to wound her and she’s somehow taking a high road.

I have a buddy who does this shit if a girl doesn’t respond according to the timeline you could reasonably expect if you knew them as more than a Tinder person from one date. I have talked him out of hastily responding with some passive-aggressive “Or no?” type of text message after he’s already asked for another date. And in almost every instance where I’ve talked him out of it, the girl has responded by the next day saying “Hey, sorry, my phone was dead” or “hey, sorry, I was out of cell reception area visiting family” or something like that, and they usually say yes to another date because he didn’t let out his inner crazy person.

(Just to finish the story, I wrote her back and told her that I wasn’t trying to ghost her, I’ve just been too busy to respond. But then I followed it up by telling her that I’m not interested in a second date.)

— 3ryanisland Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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