17 Real Men Reveal Why They Suddenly Ghosted On A Girl After Texting Her Constantly For Days

@chantylove
@chantylove

Responses gathered from real men on Reddit

1.

It began to feel like a chore.

She didn’t seem interested in me like she used to.

I began to feel like texting her wasn’t worth my time.

I decided I would respond to any text she sent but I would completely stop initiating conversation/questions (in part just so I could see what would happen) because it felt like I was doing it all. Haven’t had a response since, and the above statements became more true than I wished…

— RandomUsername416

2.

Turns out I wasn’t talking to her, I was just talking to her bank of emojis.

— Wakkajabba

3.

I’ll only stop texting if they stop taking interest, e.g one word answers or ‘haha omg emoji‘ you can tell they’re having a better conversation with someone else

— DabidoZ

4.

I did this for a year to a girl I like, but stopped because our conversation has gotten stale and it always circled around her and the shit that she likes to talk about, however, when it’s MY turn to talk about myself and the shit that I like to talk about, not only would the enthusiasm drop it would be followed by one word replies. Not about that life man

— surnguy

5.

Usually because they don’t do anything to keep the conversation going. I shouldn’t be the only one asking questions, etc.

— RemoteProvider

6.

Told me she wanted to be friends. She still wanted us to talk flirty because its fun. Just said fuck that.

— My_Names_Jefff

7.

She was only interested in talking about herself.

Not even interesting things about herself. Just how much she hated her job and how much school stressed her out.

— PM_UR_FEMINIST_TITS

8.

I’m initiating large amounts of conversation, because I want to get to know you better. Better than I know other “just friends”. I’m also gauging your interest in me. If you text me out of the blue and/or reply within 30 seconds of receiving my texts, that’s a good indication you like me. If you put forth zero effort, I won’t spend nearly as much time on you.

You may as well ask “Guys that started taking girls out to ice cream every so often, why’d you stop?”

Because she’d just eat her ice cream, staring away from you, answering your questions with one or two words. Does that sound crazy?

— PM_ME_LEGAL_PAPERS

9.

Lots of reasons:

  • Boring conversation
  • One sided conversation
  • You realize you’re really not interested
  • Found someone more interesting
  • I’m an asshole

Some more unique ones:

  • Things are shit and I don’t want to talk about it
  • Shits getting real
  • General insecurity about the future
  • Things aren’t progressing well or the way you want
  • I don’t feel like chatting and then get guilty for not responding. Then I have to come up with some excuse and I don’t want to so I avoid you.
  • I’m an asshole

— rossmosh85

10.

She literally started to reply with “haha, lol, nice, cool, ok, and k” only. Occasionally a longer sentence.

— mike4576756

11.

Started getting too attached when i was not getting the same feelings back. Easier to cut it off then to just ignore it

— Inebriatedwatermelon

12.

When I don’t get a text back for hours, but anytime we hang out the girls eyes are glued to her phone.

— Jesstosterone

13.

Two things:

Boring.

One fucking word answers.

Favourite part was when I stopped messaging, she sent me a paragraph asking her why, I replied with ‘idk emoji,’ something she would always do to me; she didn’t get it. e.e

— Evening227

14.

I was always the one who was initiating conversations. I stopped initiating the conversations to see if she would and she never did, so I figure she just didn’t care about me so I should just stop trying.

— carrotosmosis

15.

“Yeah” “No” “Sure” “Lol”

These ones anger me so so much. Can’t you be somewhat interesting?

— CrispyBacon_

16.

For guys, texting is playing catch, I expect the other to throw the ball back in an equal-but-opposite capacity.

If I’m playing catch with someone and they consistently turn the other direction and throw it into the woods, or call there girlfriends once they have it and run away, I’m gonna find someone else to play catch with.

— Thinkoutsidethebrain

17.

I was in love with her and she was never going to see me as more than a friend. She was my best friend too, which made it one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever had to make. But I was so in love and was doing everything I possibly could to change her feelings. It made for an imbalanced power dynamic in our friendship where I would do anything she asked. She’d take advantage of me often because of it. And every time she dated someone else, it tore me apart. Everytime her heart was broken, I was there to pick up the pieces as my own heart crumbled away. I waited and waited for the fairytale ended where she realizes her true love had been right next to her the whole time. But she never returned my feelings.

It took a huge toll on my mental health and I was really depressed for a long time. Eventually, I decided that to save my own life, I’d have to cut her out of it. So that’s what I did. No contact, no facebook, nothing. I should have told her why I was doing it, but I couldn’t bear to.

I got over my obsession with her after a while, but I lost a part of myself. My fiance could dump me, my family could pass away and my friends could abandon me and I wouldn’t be too broken up about it. I think it’s because I’m already broken. I could never, nor would I ever want to love someone like that again. These days, personal relationships are just a temporary, disposable thing to me.

The kicker is that she messaged me not too long ago and asked me out for drinks. In the years since I had known her, she was in an abusive relationship, had developed a serious drug problem, and had a kid. She’d recently been evicted and was looking for a place to stay. She told me she was blind before but now she saw that I was the best thing in her life. That I had been the only thing holding her together and she fell apart without me. She told me she loved me.

And I never called her back.

— irrelevant_usernam3 TC mark

Brittany Cox

Ontario real estate specialist. I write relationship advice, #GuysInsight, sex, and snark.

Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

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