15.
Tried the ole fake pregnancy to keep me around , only thing is I’m the female. I’m not sure how he thought he could convince me I was pregnant…
16.
“I’m just kidding. We are not really broken up.”
Me: wtf no sorry that’s not how this works.
Some more info. She broke up with me over the phone, during which I tried to rationalize why, how, what went wrong, etc. I talked with her for a good 30 minutes at least but she was content on saying sorry it’s over.
I rationalized and accepted and was ready to move on. Heart tender obviously since the relationship was real for me at the time. At this point is when she said “just kidding. We are not really broken up. I was just testing you to see if you would fight for the relationship”. I about lost my shit. No. No that’s not how any of this works. I hate to break it to you, but your plan backfired. We really are broken up, because you do NOT test me like this. Not like this.
17.
“I would have treated you better, except I thought you’d never leave me!”
18.
“My cat told me that letting you get away was my biggest mistake ever,” after I moved out.
19.
“I didn’t fuck both of the twins, I only fucked one”
Spoiler… She did fuck them both
20.
My abusive ex-husband sent me a long, impersonal email three years after I left him. My favorite part was: “We should get back together. I don’t want to be with you, but by some miracle of God, I might grow to tolerate or even enjoy your company.”
He was serious. I laughed for about two minutes and then sent screenshots to my boyfriend.
