I know that it feels like you need to trace patterns in the stars and read lines in your hands and search the universe in pursuit of a sign, a confirmation, a validation that you are on the right path, with the right person, finally, after all this time, doing the right thing.
I know what that impulse is, because it is true that when something is right for us, circumstances tend to align and encircle it. Serendipity is real. But the cold truth is that when we are most hungry for a sign, it is because our conviction is lacking. We are hoping that something else, something far beyond us, can help us avoid what we most fear is true.
Your brain is wired to affirm what you already believe, it’s something called confirmation bias. If you want to believe you’re meant to be with someone, you will filter through all the stimuli around you to make it true.
That is how powerful you are. You can make it true.
But you can’t make a future true for someone else. You can’t always predict and choose and manifest when it doesn’t only involve you.
So you don’t need a sign. You don’t need affirmation. When you are with the right person and on the right path, it will be obvious, because it will be the person you are with and the work you are already doing. It’s not so mysterious as we want it to be. Our fates are not encrypted in the stars, in our hands, or even our hearts. It is what is unfolding in front of us. That is what is meant to be. It is what is most effortless. It is the person who shows up and keeps showing up. It is the work that comes to us and flows from us.
You do not have to think about whether or not something is “meant to be” if it really is. It is self-evident. It is what’s already happening.
What do we expect to happen when we do piece together those signs, those signals, those all-knowing nods from the world around us that we have the very specific future we want? What do we do when we have that confirmation?
We do nothing. We keep searching. We get hungrier.
Because even if every star were to align in front of our eyes, if something isn’t happening, if someone isn’t choosing us, if a job isn’t working out, it isn’t working out. It isn’t meant to be, because it isn’t happening. That’s when you start to teeter into delusion: when your conviction about something is more about the logical and emotional reasons why, one day, it should work out, as opposed to why it is happening, right here and right now.
I know that this is hard to hear. I know what it is like to be the person who leaves claw marks in everything they lose. I know it gives you a sinking feeling, but you need to let go and hit bottom. Because you need to be gutted. You need to grieve. And then you need to rise.
In life, we can choose the what, but not always the how. If we want soulmate love, we can have it. But it won’t always be with the first person we think it will. If we want to have the career of our dreams, we can have it, but it won’t always be in the first field we assume.
When you get too stuck to the how, when you get too stuck to one person or one opportunity or one city or one thing, you are assuming that it is the only thruway for you to experience what you want out of life. And that’s simply untrue. Because love comes from you and passion does, too. Your talents are in your head and your commitment is in your hands and heart. You are meant to savor every ounce, every drop of life you crave. And the dead ends, the road blocks? They are telling you that this isn’t the way to it.
So please, remember this. If you get to the point where you have to ask everyone around you: “do you think this is meant to be?” If you are looking to your natal charts and future plans, to signs and signals and coincidences you piece together to build a roadmap to the future, you must stop. You must stop because that map is to nowhere. What is meant for you will show up for you, right here and right now.