Maybe you’re exhausted not because you’re imperfect and incapable of fixing your life, but because you’re not chasing what it is you actually, deeply want.
Try this as an experiment: close your eyes and imagine how your life would feel if you didn’t know how it looked.
What actually makes you feel good?
Who do you actually want to spend time with?
What do you actually care about doing?
If you ever want a shot at actually being happy you need to stop pursuing what you think will make you feel good and lean into the actual emotional experience of your everyday life and allow that subtle peaceful feeling to guide you to your destiny.
Your “best self” is not the skinniest, richest, most successful version of yourself that you can imagine.
Your “best self” is the natural, whole, present version of yourself that you currently are. The whole work of waking up and finding joy is realizing this, not trying to make it better before you can accept it.
You’re (probably) not a celebrity. Nobody’s taking photos of you every time you leave the house. You don’t need to dress like a fashion mogul. You don’t need to maintain the shape of a supermodel. You’re allowed to wear your favorite sweater too many times in a week. You’re allowed to let your hair dry the way it dries without expending an hour of energy trying to make it look a different way. You’re allowed to eat when you are hungry. You are allowed to cook simple things. You’re allowed to sleep when you are tired. You’re allowed to rest even if you’re not.
You are allowed to give yourself permission to be an ordinary, average, everyday human being.
Trying to convince you of your greatness might inspire you in some ways, but it’s not going to make you truly happy. Great people still have to do the dishes and wash their linens and deal with their family.
Building a life that feels good is having the courage to accept yourself as you are, and then it is doing the dirty work. You know, the good stuff that you’ve been afraid of and trying to avoid for all this time.
Building a life that feels good is getting good with a budget, because you’re sick of being strapped for cash. It’s taking on extra to work to actually save many months of living expenses because you’re tired of being on the brink of panic were something to ever happen with your job. It’s not being afraid of being alone if the people you’re spending your time with don’t fulfill you.
Creating a life you love is not a scapegoat to no longer having to work on yourself or be better.
It’s just a distinction between being weak and working on shallow things you don’t really care about, and having the guts to work on the things that you actually care about.
Building a life that feels good is no longer being at war with yourself. It is hearing the thoughts that make you want to hate yourself, and not succumbing to them. It is feeling jealous of someone and weaving your way out of it, and becoming happy for them instead. It is not listening to the voices that want to trap you and keep you small.
Being successful is not a personality trait.
Your pant size is not something people take into consideration when they decide whether or not they’re going to show up for you when you need them most.
All that you will leave in the world is how you made other people feel.
That’s all you’ll be remembered for, and that’s all that will exist of you at the end of the day.
So instead of continuing to suffer over how imperfect you and your life looks, why don’t you try the truly hard thing of working on how it actually, genuinely feels?
Not only so you can leave a worthwhile legacy.
But also so you can find a semblance of joy while you’re here.