When you first start to become conscious of your thoughts, feelings, experiences and how they not only interact but are essentially one in the same, you become familiar with the world of awakening and healing.
It’s true that life traumatizes us all in different ways, and healing is required to living a full and happy life. But when you think that every time you have a bad feeling or a hard experience you are simply “bringing something up to heal,” it can start to seem like you are a never-ending well of stored negativity that will be cropping up for the rest of your life.
Healing is a return to wholeness. It means to integrate difficult feelings and experiences, to make peace with them, and be able to move on in whichever direction we choose with more ease and certainty.
Of course, this process does involve recognizing and processing a lot of #dark things we hadn’t cared to look at before.
But if you constantly feel like you are healing, purging, “bringing things up” to be seen, finding the “lessons” in your bad relationships, finding teachers more than companions… it means that you need to take a serious look at your internal narrative.
Most likely, your inner monologue is: I am healing, I am changing, I am being transformed, rather than: I am well, I am whole, I allow my life to be good.
When it is the latter, you will constantly be creating circumstances in which you will need to “heal” from. You will think that every negative feeling “just needs to come up” before you can be freed of it. In reality, bad feelings arise when we need to become aware of a way in which we are not on the right path. As soon as that thing enters our awareness, we can make a shift.
But when we don’t make a shift, when we think that the feeling is just part of healing rather than an integral messaging system within us that is actually guiding us at all times, we start to believe that we are inherently broken, which is of course, what will manifest over and over again.
Take a good hard look at the longest patterns, behaviors, and problems you have struggled with. Is your mindset about them: “I have to fix this” or “I am fixed”?
People obsess over needing to lose weight and wonder why they keep gaining. They stress about money and wonder why it never seems to be enough. They belabor the details of every slight that’s ever been committed against them and wonder why they can’t rectify their friendships and their feelings about other people.
It’s because the approach is broken, not you. When you change your inner narrative to self-acceptance, belief in abundance, friendship over competition, you exit the war within yourself.
You start to align not with needing to be fixed but with already being fixed.
You start to realize that the problems you have struggled with the most have persisted for so long because you have been putting more energy into the problem existing than the solution existing.