Here’s Why You’re Not In Love (Yet), Based On Your Jungian Personality Archetype

Elliott Dunning
Elliott Dunning

1. The Innocent

The “Innocent” personality archetype thinks of things in black-and-white. They prefer order, simplicity, and structure. They thrive in office settings, prefer religious affiliations, and generally pursue Truth with the intention of ensuring they are always “good.” If anything, these are the people we would call “young souls,” whose faith and optimism in the world runs as deep as their fear and confusion. If you’re struggling in your relationships as an Innocent, it’s because you are either unwilling to state your actual needs and be who you really are, instead behaving as someone else would prefer you; or, you can’t accept the complexities and contradictions of love and romance. Love is not just sex, or attraction. It is deeper than that, and until you’re ready to play in the grey area, it’s going to continue to elude you.

2. The Everyperson

The “Everyperson” archetype desires nothing more than they want to just belong. They are honest, loyal, hardworking, and believe that all people are inherently equal. They don’t just prefer to be “regular,” they thrive in it. The feeling of being “one of the group” brings them a feeling of intense comfort and happiness, and their worst fear is that they will reveal some unseemly part of themselves and be left exiled. If you’re struggling in your relationships as an Everyperson, it’s because you’re choosing partners who fit an idea, rather than who you’re genuinely compatible with. To find that person, you are going to have to be your authentic self, and risk being seen as “weird” or different. Underneath the Everyperson’s quest for acceptance is a love of perfection, and that’s exactly what’s holding you back from love.

3. The Hero

The “Hero” personality type is also known as the “healer.” The hero believes that their purpose in this life is to help others, and to give whatever they can to make the world a better place. They are determined, motivated, and believe in self-development. Deep down, their desire to help others stems from a desire to actually prove themselves as worthy, but either way, they channel that insecurity in a positive light. If you’re having trouble in your relationships as a “Hero,” it’s because you’re attracting people who need help, not who want to be loved. You’re starting relationships with people who need you to heal them, not who can hold their own and be your life partner.

4. The Caregiver

The “Caregiver” personality type is someone who mentors in life. These are the parents, teachers, nurses and sages of the world. They believe in nurturing others, and they are known for being very kind, compassionate and generous with their time and resources. They believe in protecting others and caring for them, and while this is a great thing, they can often neglect themselves. If you’re struggling in your relationships as a “Caregiver,” it’s because you’re not putting enough energy into them. You’re so busy helping others, you’ve forgotten that your love life deserves your attention too. You’re allowed to be happy.

5. The Explorer

The “Explorer” personality type is often referred to as the “free spirit.” They love adventure, desire experience, and want to be as true to their souls as possible. They typically question authority, and dislike traditional lifestyles. Sometimes they can fit into the category of “misfit,” at the very least, they rarely feel as though they’re “one of the crowd.” If you’re having trouble in your relationships as an “Explorer,” it’s because you’re trying to settle down rather than take off. You need a relationship without the tradition, someone who helps you be more of your free-spirited self, not less.

6. The Rebel

The “Rebel” sees through authority and doesn’t take things at face-value. They are the ones that question the system, especially when it only serves a few, and inspire revolution. When put in the right circumstances, these people are heroes. They are the ones with the foresight and bravery to rebel against what’s wrong in the world. However, they must be careful of discerning good from bad. Not every one of the powers-that-be is negative, and not every resistance is positive. If you’re struggling in your relationships as a “Rebel,” it’s because you’re resisting what’s in your heart too much. You’re trying to find the downside, or assume love is a bunch of shit Hallmark is trying to sell you. If you want love to work for you, you’re going to have to soften yourself a little.

7. The Lover

The “Lover” desires intimacy and connection more than anything else. These are the hopeless romantics of the world, the ones who enjoy the lovely, little parts of life, who try to see the glass half full – but often struggle with getting their hearts broken too easily, or being too sensitive. The “Lover” always wants to improve themselves, and sees virtue in being physically and emotionally attractive. They make extraordinary friends, partners and parents. If you’re struggling in your relationships as a “Lover,” it’s because you’re putting too much stock in them. You have to maintain a healthy balance of life outside your relationship, too. Love is a remarkable part of life, but it isn’t the only part of life.

8. The Creator

The “Creator” is known nowadays as the entrepreneur, the creative, the innovator. Their ultimate desire is to build something that lasts beyond them. Every day is devoted to developing their legacy. They loathe mediocrity, and are always striving for the newest, most cutting-edge approach. Unfortunately, they can err toward manic episodes and perfectionism (often coinciding issues) and end up being too “out of this world.” If you’re struggling in your relationships as a “Creator,” it’s because you’re forgetting your humanness.

9. The Jester

The “Jester” is someone who likes to live in the moment. They are the entertainers, the life of the party. They believe that life is about enjoyment, and that a day that they haven’t seized was one wasted. Though it seems on the surface that they are all about “goofing off,” they take things to heart. Their desire to find enjoyment often stems from a place of pain, and their humor is often developed from a place of wanting to be accepted or liked by others. If you’re struggling in your relationships as a “Jester,” it’s because you haven’t fully addressed the deeper issues in your life. You need to release the pain of the past before you can step into something new.

10. The Sage

The “Sage” is the deep-thinker. They are the teachers, detectives, philosophers, writers, poets, experts and scholars of the world. They use their intelligence to not only understand the world, but create peace and understanding within it. They are always in pursuit of “why,” and are in love with theorizing the abstract – the fascinatingly unknowable things about the world, the big, existential questions. If you’re struggling in your relationships as a “Sage,” you simply haven’t found the right partner yet. You will have a harder and longer journey than most when it comes to finding someone with whom you are ultimately compatible

11. The Magician

The “Magician” believes in self-power. They have a fundamental understanding of the laws of the Universe, and know that they are inherently creators. “Magician” types take full responsibility for their lives, sometimes to a fault. They are true visionaries, leaders, healers, and catalysts. They believe in win-win situations, actualizing your potential, and truly living your dreams. If you’re struggling in your relationships as a “Magician,” it’s because you’ve forgotten that you’re a co-creator. You are working in tandem with fate and the Universe, and not everything can manifest the moment you want it to. However, what you must keep in mind is that these hold ups always happen for a reason. There’s a bigger picture, and you’re only seeing a piece of it.

12. The Ruler

The “Ruler” has a desire for control. They think that success is being a leader, a CEO, a politician or some other form of famous person/role model. The “Ruler” has an abnormally positive view of themselves, which is often in response to their deeper insecurity, which fuels a lot of their desire for control. They often find themselves unable to compromise, and though creating a successful family and partnership is also desirable, they frequently cycle through partners and are prone to breakups and divorces. If you’re struggling in your relationships as a “Ruler,” it’s because you are forgetting that you cannot dictate or lord over love. You have to be willing to relinquish your ego a bit, and accept that you’re not always right, and you might not always know what is best. TC mark

Brianna Wiest

My new book on self-sabotage will be out in June 2020

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