20 Questions To Ask Yourself If You Can’t Decide Whether To Love Harder Or Let Them Go

1. If I knew that nothing about this person or my current relationship with them would change for the rest of my life, would I find relief in being with them forever, or would this make me realize it was the wrong move?

2. Do I question whether or not I want to be with them when things are going well and I realize I’m not happy, or when things are getting tough and I realize that love is work?

3. What scares me about keeping this relationship in my life? What scares me about letting it go?

4. Am I afraid of losing this person, or am I afraid of having to be with myself?

5. Are my reasons for believing we should be together logical or emotional?

6. What makes me feel better: spending time with this person, or thinking about spending time this person?

7. Do I have to actively look for “signs” or ask other people to help me figure out we’re “meant to be,” or is it self-evident?

8. Does this person say they want a relationship with me, then not act on it? (They don’t want a relationship.)

9. Does this person say they don’t want a relationship, but act as though they love me? (They don’t want a relationship.)

10. What limiting beliefs are keeping me in the fear that I will never find anybody else, or cannot handle being alone?

11. How far removed from reality is my idea of this person, and what we have together?

12. What do those closest to me have to say about this person, and my relationship with them?

13. Do I want a life with them, or do I just want a life with someone?

14. Do we have the crucial things in common: values, desires, expectations for the relationship now and in the future?

15. Do we have the most crucial thing in common, which underbellies all of the above: the spark?

16. Are you proud to have them by your side? Do you want to introduce them to your family and show them off to your friends?

17. What would happen in my life if I gave all of the energy and attention I put on this person back to myself? Would my life improve, or would it basically be the same?

18. If I knew that we would go through some tremendously hard times in our life together, is there enough love there to make them worth it?

19. Are they asking me to love harder, or to let go?

20. Are they doing so without using words?

The Pivot Year: New Book by Brianna Wiest

If you’re in a pivot period—if you’re still bridging the space between where you are and where you want to be—remember that the person you’re becoming is already within you. The journey is convincing your mind to act consistently on what your heart already knows it wants to do.

The Pivot Year is a book of 365 daily meditations on finding the courage to become who you’ve always wanted to be, from the internationally bestselling author of 101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think, The Mountain Is You, and more.