The most devastating part of your breakup has been the realization that it’s not so easy to just find someone who will be as stable as you were. In fact, they’re probably still ringing your doorbell (or, more realistically, hitting up your phone) because they’ve begun to realize that not only are there few people are as willingly devoted as you, but that it’s a terrible feeling to lose someone who was not only your support system, but committed in love. Sure, the idea of being young, wild and free to explore options may have seemed appealing, but your ex may be starting to realize that love is a verb. It’s action, and it not only takes time to build, it also takes a very special person to build it with.
Your ex is beginning to realize that there are few people out there as personally ambitious as you are, not only in your own life, but also in terms of a relationship. For better or worse, you cannot deny that you are someone who is always striving for more in their lives, and that kind of confidence is intoxicating to be with. Now that they’ve moved on, they’re discovering that not everybody has big hopes and dreams, and even fewer have the guts to pursue them. It’s a scary idea that they could end up with someone who is only a fraction as driven as you were.
Since splitting, your ex has discovered that not everybody has the kind of mental and emotional capacity that you did. Not everybody can challenge them the way you did, and not everybody elicits the same kind of intrigue and respect as you did. Beyond your attraction to one another, you were someone they almost looked up to in a way, and your depth was truly something to be admired. Needless to say, after discovering how many people are shallow and underdeveloped as individuals, they’re starting to miss everything you had to offer.
Love may be an idyllic, beautiful thing in theory, but in reality, life still happens. Difficulties still arise. What your ex misses most about you is your inner strength: you’ve seen dark times, but you’re better for them. You’re a more whole and developed person because you’ve been through so much pain, and that kind of experience isn’t something you find every day. When things start getting tough, that’s when your ex misses you most. They’ve begun to realize that maybe what matters most is who you have to lean on when you really, really need it.