1. Independence is not always a choice. People like to tout that word as a personality trait, when in some cases, it’s more a matter of survival and well-being than preference. Solely depending on yourself out of necessity is a different game than just preferring to live alone.
2. People who were forced into autonomy have an incredible advantage in life. In knowing there was no choice but to fend for themselves, they had to learn to not only manage the technicalities of life – paying bills and getting car repairs and seeing doctors – but also the emotional responsibility of choosing your family, figuring out what matters and what doesn’t, and so on.
3. Putting yourself first is a virtue. In a world where “selfishness” and “self-love” are horrendously misinterpreted for one another, remember that the ability to love and care for yourself isn’t a luxury, it’s a necessity if you want to have the healthy life you deserve.
5. Intimate relationships matter more when you’re very independent.People who have to be independent typically have either enmeshment or abandonment trauma, which is to say someone was either overly-controlling or too uninvolved with them early in life. When this is the case, it takes time to learn that you can be yourself and also rely and trust other people, which is essential to have genuine relationships with them.
6. You are all you have at the end of the day. We come alone and we go alone, and no matter how much love we experience in-between, it’s only us at the very end. In the words of Oprah, if you’re waiting for someone to save you, fix you, or even help you, you’re wasting your time – only you have the power to change your life.
7. Nothing matters more than your sanctity of mind, and often that comes about from knowing that nobody else can hold something over your head. There is nothing in the world more valuable than financial, emotional and mental freedom, all things of which you do not just stumble upon. All of which you must develop and learn how to manage.
8. The greatest blessing is what other people don’t give you. When someone withholds love, you have to find your own. When your parents give you everything, you never develop the burning need to do it for yourself. When things are placed in your lap, you never learn to hustle, and when you don’t have to face your discomfort out of necessity, you spend your life avoiding it, and remain half the person you could have been, if other people weren’t (unknowingly) placating you.