1. They’d rather be alone than be with the wrong person. They know better than to commit out of the fear of being alone with themselves – or worse, whatever social implications that may come with.
2. They’re hyper-analytical of what would make someone the “right” person. They know that compatibility is as much of a science as it is an art – it’s half inherent chemistry, and half the decision to cultivate love and caring. That is to say: it takes a lot to determine whether or not you really are suited for someone.
3. They actually have the means to be able to live on their own – and often prefer it. In fact, it’s scary to them to know they could have to share their space one day, and they truly don’t understand anybody who doesn’t value having their own “happy place” first.
4. Their personal interests outside of dating are always competing for their attention. They’re busy. They’re busy pursuing things they love, and they don’t always have time to date regularly, which is often a key component to finding the right person (simple trial and error, increase the pool, increase the odds).
5. They aren’t cynical as much as they are just aware of how frequently relationships end – and for what reasons. They are not going to just rely on the feeling or idea of love to propel them to commit to someone: they want and need to know that they agree on the important stuff – long-term visions, financial habits, and so on.
6. They can differentiate the feeling attraction give from the commitment that love inspires. They know that the “mushy, gushy” feeling is mostly just hormones firing off, and that love is a cultivated, practiced intimacy – and they aren’t going to settle for less than it.
7. Smart women are intimidating, and whether by virtue of feeling threatened or unworthy, people have a lot of strong feelings about them – good and uh, not so good.
8. They don’t pretend to know what they’ll want in 10 or 20 years, and certainly don’t assume they’ll remain the same forever. In fact, they aspire to growing and changing, which is what makes it difficult to commit to a partner for the long-term.
9. They are aware of the origins of so many of our courting, mating and relationship practices – and honestly, they don’t agree with many of them. Where women once needed to be passed from father to husband as a means of literal survival, they view relationships now as being the result of love and affection and companionship with whomever, though not everybody sees it that way.
10. They know how to protect themselves. They are not going to put their hearts on the line for just anyone, and are not going to risk their lives becoming dismantled because they threw themselves into a relationship only to get their hearts broken. They will evaluate and determine whether or not the risk is worth it, and then they’ll act accordingly.