1. We care about what matters. So no, we’re not going to pick a fight over the dishes not being done, but we’re also not going to let the important things slide – like what’s actually working in the relationship and not. After all – aggression over completely benign day-to-day things is usually indicative of some deeper problem anyway.
2. If you want to do something for us, it doesn’t need to be extravagant, but it does need to be thoughtful. We’re not going to hold you to elaborate (or expensive!) birthday weekend plans for example, but we are going to expect that you care enough to want to do something meaningful together. We expect you to know the difference between actually giving a crap about someone’s life and just going through the motions of someone who is supposed to care.
3. We base the quality of our relationships on how genuine the connection feels. We don’t really care about labels or symbols of commitment or public displays of affection. We aren’t particular about many things, but we’re not going to be happy until we feel like the connection – and the commitment – is real.
4. While it’s true that you can’t mind-read, we do expect you to have a basic, common sense approach to being considerate of our feelings. We don’t need you to decode a microaggression or assume anything we say means other than, well, what we say, but we expect that you’ll generally have some self-awareness when it comes to being considerate and mindful of other people’s space, opinions, potential feelings, etc.
5. The relationships that work for us are the ones in which we are super comfortable with one another, yet find a way to maintain the spark as well. If it sounds a bit idealistic that’s because it is, but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible.
6. We’re not going to nag, but if something’s wrong, you’re going to hear about it point blank. We epitomize “do no harm but take no shit.”
7. We are confident about what we know we deserve, and likewise, what you deserve. We’re going to be doing all we can do make sure that you’re being treated the way you should be, and we expect the same of you. Again, we’re talking basic consideration, a little mindfulness, and all the small things that so often get overlooked after you get comfortable with one another.