1. I would venture to say that perpetual contentment with anything in life is what’s abnormal. You do not have to like how you look at all times. It’s almost worse to force yourself into doing that because honestly, as we all know, forcing emotions to either be there or go away never works. If you’re having a “bad body” day (meaning you don’t like how you look, your body itself is never “bad”) just say, okay, I’m feeling a little crappy about this today, but so are a million other people, and it will pass eventually.
2. Figure out if this is your genuine opinion or if you’re more concerned with how “people” will perceive you. This “people” demon that haunts us is very interesting, because we all seem to be very concerned about this group of faceless monsters who decide who we are based on what we fear we’re projecting to others. It’s crazy if you think about it. Think of someone who loves you, someone whose opinion matters… they’re a person, aren’t they? So I’d venture to assume that they fall under the “people” category, right? … Meaning that not all “people” think these terrible things of you. When you start putting faces to this “people” fear, you’ll start to realize that it’s mostly a projection of your own opinions.
3. If the best thing about you is how you look, I feel compelled to say that it’s time you do a bit of soul-searching. The friends who are worth being friends with aren’t going to care what you look like if they love you for something more than that. Focus on the “more than that” that I promise you other people see. These are the traits that are most innately “you.” Things that don’t rely on your outer appearance. Things that will not fade with time, but rather, grow.
4. There is always an element of attraction that is vital for any relationship, but do you know what’s more important than that? Loving someone for reasons other than that. You would be inspired by how many men and women honestly aren’t as concerned about how physically beautiful you are as much as you make them laugh, and feel loved, and have things in common, and enjoy nights out together, and talk for hours about nothing and everything. That’s where real love derives.
5. Sometimes it is time to make a change. This probably isn’t what you were expecting, but hear me out. The truth is sometimes we do gain weight and sometimes we lose it and we are supposed to fluctuate. We shouldn’t, however, let it get out of control to the point where we are physically incapable of doing things we once loved, are suffering from medical issues, etc. Part of “loving yourself” is being honest with yourself about when it’s time to make a change, and not for the sake of appeasing others or the little gremlins in your head.
6. If you ever need a quick pick-me-up in this department, think about or write down what your body lets you do, not what it prohibits you from. My list consists of things like hugging my little brother, allowing me to think and write and express what I’m most passionate about, to enjoy foods that I love, to smell spring days and move around and travel. Your body is a vessel for your experience, and you will be trapped until you realize that what the vessel looks like is not as important as what it can do.