10 Ways You Know You Don’t Actually Love Somebody

1. The majority of relationships that fail do so because one or both parties entered wanting something specific– companionship, admiration, etc. When they stopped receiving that thing, they left, or at least wanted to. We would file this under “conditional love,” or in other words, its a sign you don’t love somebody because you’re in it for what they can do for you.

2. You have the perpetual and nagging thought of is this really it? Is this what I’ve been hoping and waiting for for all this time?

3. You have no interest in working on issues to resolve them– you know that’s what you’re supposed to do, but for whatever reason, you just don’t.

4. Differences cause more strife than growth. Love is about making two lives coexist in harmony, teaching and supporting one another. Not the opposite.

5. You are more concerned with what dreams this person can help you fulfill in the future than how you feel about spending time with them here and now. Just because you see someone as a suitable option to have the child you’ve always wanted with does not mean you actually love them.

6. You don’t think you can do any better, and you’re not willing to try.

7. You are much more concerned about others’ opinions of the person than your own opinions of them. You are easily influenced by what others say, and it takes the forefront of importance: a tell-tale sign that you’re staying in it for what the relationship does for you externally.

8. The more they open up to you, the more you are put off by their little quirks and nuances. You don’t have to be enamored by every little thing someone does, although that isn’t completely uncommon. But if you are continually put off the more you get in touch with who someone really is… it’s not love.

9. You’re waiting for them to become something else. For them to come into themselves, to grow up, to get another degree of education, to make more money… there’s always a “but” and “when” after why you love them.

10. If you have to question it that much. If you can’t figure out whether or not you love someone and its something you spend at least a part of each day trying to decipher, you most likely don’t.

Want more articles like this? Check out Brianna Wiest’s book The Truth About Everything here.