In my opinion, the most attractive people are the ones who know that their physical appearance isn’t the most attractive thing about them. They have a certain kind of confidence, they’re usually more fun to hang out with, and they’re the kind of people who are ready to love you for who you are. Not what you are.
Body image is no light subject. There are people who are suffering legitimate illnesses, mental and physical, relating to how they appear. At the bare minimum, I assume, everybody feels as though they are sub-par at some point, in some way. I am in no way trying to diminish the suffering that people experience regarding their physical appearances. I just hope that, if even for a few minutes, you can hear me out.
I think that attraction that is not physical can end up being physical eventually, when you really grow to care about someone. Listen, I’m not going to lie and say that personal grooming and cleanliness aren’t important, they obviously are. But at the end of the day, you need to be with someone who wants you for who you are, and respects how you want to present yourself. Not someone who wants you to look like they want you to.
How you choose to present yourself does say something about you, we can’t pretend it doesn’t. But one of the most powerful things it can say is that you care enough to take care of yourself, but you still know that it’s not the only thing great about you.
Males of the universe: I’m going to tell you something right now. I do not care, even a little bit, if you are physically “perfect.” And you shouldn’t either. You don’t need to be muscular or have a stomach so tight you can bounce a penny off of it. To be honest, I’m usually turned off by those things. Maybe I’m just weird. I guess I feel like you’re spending too much time in the gym and not enough doing other things that make you an interesting human. That’s just me, though. I want you to be real; I don’t want some carbon copy of a perfect, generic male companion. I want you and all your quirks and “imperfections.” What I’m concerned about is how awesome you are, and how much we jive while we’re hanging out. Our physical appearances are going to fall to shit eventually, so might as well be interested in something beyond that, right?
It always gets me when I hear guys admit that they’re ashamed or concerned about their appearance. I guess it’s because I’m so used to hearing girls lament the subject, hearing that guys do as well is both refreshing (woah, we’re all human? We all feel this way?!) but equally disturbing because it’s so unfortunate that anyone has to think like that. Yo, dudes, we’re not looking for supermen (or women). We’re looking for real, loving, genuine, kick-ass people who lift us up and make us happy. If you are interested in girls (or guys) who are made happy by how in shape you are, it may be time to look elsewhere.
The point is, even if you’ll never be able to be completely satisfied with how you look, you don’t have to be to still be a perfectly worthy and beautiful person. Love yourself for everything inside you, and you’ll be able to find someone else who does as well.