Grief Is Proof That You Loved Well
For anyone grieving, I just want you to know that you aren’t alone. At the end of the day, I have come to learn that grief is everything we cherish about love, distorted by pain. And yes, while pain demands to be felt, it is also deeply important to find your way back into the native warmth of it all. It is both a blessing and a curse to love something that death can touch, but there are layers of hope within what you are feeling right now. There are pockets of memory that can act as testaments to the beauty you felt, reflections of your capacity to care for and love someone so unconditionally — they left their mark within you.
Loss has a way of teaching us to pass love around as much as possible in this lifetime. It reminds us that we are designed to love, to connect, to care. It also shows us, often in a very hard and haunted way, that our time here is not promised — that this experience can end at any moment. But that reality, that certitude, can also remind us every single day to show up clearly, and as sincerely as possible. To foster gratitude for the time we have been given, to speak our hearts into existence, to leave nothing on the table. To stay tender, to stay curious, to never shy away from honouring each moment, each human being who comes into our lives and enlivens us. I hope that resonates with you, I hope it cracks you open. Because open is all we can be in this world. Open is something to defend.
If your heart is really heavy right now, that just means it’s full. And whenever I feel like this I remind myself that the heart, too, is a muscle — it needs weight to grow. If any of you can relate to that — be gentle with yourself, and hold on to your hope. You’re going to be okay.
Bianca Sparacino is a poet. She is the author of The Strength In Our Scars and A Gentle Reminder.
