Attachment Is Egocentric, Love Is Altruistic

Attachment often disguises itself as love, but it’s rooted in need and self-focus rather than compassion. Real love isn’t about filling a void — it’s about choosing someone and nurturing a connection that feels balanced and genuine. This is the difference between clinging for validation and loving from a place of freedom.

When we enter into relationships from a place of attachment, it is often because the people we crash ourselves into make us feel complete and validated in a way that we haven’t learned to do on our own. And while it is important to feel comfortable and secure in a relationship, only being in one for the sake of completion or wholeness or fulfilment can cause you to build your foundation around another person, rather than around yourself. Because another human being is good at making us feel less lonely, or more desired, we keep them around. We put in effort because we know that that effort means we are going to be rewarded with attention, or distraction. And that is why we say that attachment comes from an egocentric place, it comes from this place of thinking about yourself and yourself only.

Love on the other hand, genuine and altruistic love, means that you are thinking of the other person. You feel loved, and cared for when you are with them, but it is not the sole reason why you keep the connection in your life. You love them, and instead of just being concerned with how they are making you feel, instead of just needing them to fill your voids, you desire to deepen your connection because you want to make them happy. You make them a priority. You choose them, you find balance in the relationship. It isn’t transactional. You genuinely care from a deeply compassionate place.

Real love isn’t about what someone gives you. It’s about what you share and nurture together.