If You Care About Someone, Show Up For Them

If you care about someone, make them a priority. Make them a priority not just when it is easy, but when it is difficult as well.If you care about someone, show up for them when you say you will. Show up for them when they least deserve it, because that is when they need it the most. Just be there for them — not because you have to be, but because you want to be. See, the easy things in life hold no weight. It is easy to love someone when they are perfect, when they are soft and light, when they filled with hope and happiness. But loving someone when they are wearing their flaws like an apology, when they are breaking down, or when they are carrying hurt within them — that is when it means the most. That is when you must show up for them.

If you care about someone, put your phone down. Sit across from them at dinner and listen to them. Give yourself the space to dive with them, into deeper conversation, into the kind of quality time that makes you feel like you are the only two people in the world. Connect with them. Please, if you care for someone — connect. Do not allow yourself to be pulled from those moments. Do not allow yourself to settle for talking about the weather, or the monotony of life. Ask them what they dreamed about the night before. Debate with them. Teach them something new. Sit them down and laugh with them, lose yourself in time. Be present, not only in your body, but also in your mind. Be there with them.

If you care about someone, let them know that you do. Always remind them that you appreciate the very heart within their chest. Always remind them that you want to protect who they are, that they are your favorite thing, and do not just do this with words. See, words are simple, they are easy, they are flat. When it comes to someone else’s soul, do not fill their head with silken poetry, do not string vowels and consonants together just to appease them. Show them that they matter to you, take action in making sure that they feel loved, in backing up what you speak.

If you care about someone, if you truly care, just be good to them. Too many people selfishly take hearts into their own hands and they fail to protect them, they fail to nurture them. Too many people grow comfortable and complacent, they lose sight of what they have. They take and take, and they rarely think about what they are giving. They forget that love is not something that should ever be done with one foot out the door. They forget that love should never be given in bare minimums.

Please, if you love someone, stand up for that. Be honest with them. Choose them every single day, and if you cannot, or if things change, let them go. Let them go, because if they love you deeply they will not have it within them to stop trying, they will not be able to walk away, for it is a fatal flaw in people who love with everything they have. They must be set free. Do not keep someone around only to love them in halves. They are better off giving their love to someone who has room within their chest to accept it, and you are better off figuring out what your heart desires before you try to open it to someone who will never stop trying to give you the world. TC mark

Read more writing like this in Bianca Sparacino’s book Seeds Planted In Concrete here.

Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

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