You Loved Them, But You Let Them Get Away

Coley Brown
Coley Brown

You got comfortable.

You stopped appreciating the small moments. You didn’t roll over in bed and embrace each other anymore. You didn’t hold hands in public anymore, you didn’t kiss deeply. You didn’t acknowledge the beauty of it anymore, you didn’t take a second to step back and simply admire what you had in front of you.

You stopped choosing each other. You didn’t make time alone a priority. You started working your relationship around your life, rather than striving to work your life around your relationship. You didn’t set aside nights for each other, you didn’t plan dates anymore. You started missing pieces of each other’s life — his award ceremony, her art show; his mother’s birthday party, her graduation. You stopped making an effort, you stopped being there for one another.

You stopped embracing the little things that made you fall for them. You stopped laughing at their terrible jokes, stopped smiling whenever they would sing in the shower. You stopped appreciating their sensitivity, you stopped making an effort to learn them and understand them.

You stopped telling them every single day what they meant to you. You stopped telling him he was handsome, you stopped calling her beautiful. You stopped letting them know that you appreciated them, that you felt lucky to have them in your life. You just assumed that they knew.

Little by little, you got swallowed up in the routine of it all. You stopped growing together, and started growing a part. You stopped loving them the way they deserved to be loved; you stopped fighting for them the way they needed to be fought for.

Little by little,
you stopped trying.

Little by little,
you lost them. TC mark

Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

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