I Woke Up Wanting To Kiss You, Years Before We Met

Wendy Liu
Wendy Liu

I did not fall in love with you. To say that is to insist that what happened between you and I was a catastrophic moment, a clashing and bashing within the Universe that left us both with bruised knees and scraped wrists. No, I did not fall in love with you – I grew in love with you; I grew roots in you, slowly and profoundly, gently and with choice.

The truth is, I woke up wanting to kiss you. Years ago, before I had met you, I woke up wanting to make you breakfast. I woke up wondering when I would meet the person who laced dreams within my pillowcase, who lived like sleep within my eager eyes.

Years ago I woke up wondering what it would be like to finally hear you introduce yourself. I dreamed of the coffee shop we would frequent for months before noticing each other, the dusty bookstore you would take me to on our first date. I envisioned the ways you would tell me about your goals, your aspirations, always noticing how your pupils dilated whenever you looked at me, as if matchsticks ignited every time we locked eyes.

Years ago I woke up wondering how you would love; if your heart would speak the same language as mine, if we would learn to accept the differences that lived between us like rivers. It was easy for me to get excited thinking about all of the ways I would quietly prove to you how much I cared for you. I knew that I would only ever want to give you the world. I knew that I would only ever want to inspire your soul.

Years ago I made the decision to believe in you. To truly, and wildly, believe that you were waking up at 9am on a Sunday morning wondering if I existed, too. Years ago I woke up choosing you, wherever you were, however you would come to me, and that is why I did not fall in love with you. I waited for you. I hoped for you. I prepared myself to love you, to embrace you, so that when you did introduce yourself to me in that coffee shop, or take me to that bookstore on our first date, I would be ready to love you the way I always dreamed of loving you — I would be ready to love you the way you always deserved to be loved. TC mark

Pasted image at 2016_02_26 03_41 PM

Read more writing like this in Bianca Sparacino’s book Seeds Planted In Concrete here.

Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

Read Here

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  • http://girlsarenotmachines.wordpress.com Jessica

    Perfect, beautiful writing. A wonderful expression of love. Keep on. xo

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    loved this!

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