I’ll date you because I choose to. I will desire you with every dawn and I will desire you with every dusk. I will date you because you make me laugh, because despite your flaws and your temperaments, my heart feels safe within your hands. I will date you and I will pay no mind to the alternative, I will turn a blind eye to the people who stare because my gaze was made for your gaze. In this generation option creeps into relationships like a dangerous siren, but I will never be swayed by its song, for when I date you, I will date only you.
I will date you in a forgetful way. I wont be able to recall the time you were born, or your mothers middle name. I will forget mini anniversaries, I will forget appointments. However, I will never forget the way you looked when you told me you loved me for the first time. I will never forget the way you smell, the colour of the freckles in your eyes. I will always remember what makes your heart race, the moments of smaller magic that bang and clash against your ribcage when my head rests on your chest. I will immortalize you in my fingertips; I will never forget the way you make me feel.
I will date you outside of social media. I will hold your hand, I will kiss your soft mouth, I will be your biggest fan, and that will exist between you and I. Two people, unfiltered, completely unedited, simply loving each other without validation. I wont need a certain amount of likes to know that I admire you, I wont need a specific number of views to understand that I could watch you all day. Our relationship will be one that is incubated within the confines of our inside jokes, our humorous memories, our deep connection – it will never be subjected to a 4×4 square; it will never be two-dimensional.
You will not be my mcm, my wcw, or my bae. You will be my heart. You will be my home. I will not post my love for you on your Facebook wall, I will not take photos to prove to the world how much I adore the way your hair feels in the morning, or how you can never keep a straight face when you see someone fall. There will be no public evidence of our infatuation, but I will love you deeply in the most beautiful places. I will kiss you in your favourite bakery; I will brush your cheek with every tree that lines the most darling streets. We will create memories in the world, not for it. We will see our relationship dotted across the town like Christmas lights.
Most importantly, I will date you in the image of tenacity. I will endure for you, even when we fall on hard times, even when we struggle. I will not flee or abandon you when we disagree, I will not sleep within foreign arms when I feel hurt. I promise that when I date you, I will fight for you. I will fight for the beauty in which our hearts have felt, and though it will be difficult at times, like worthy things are, I will believe in you – I will believe in us.
For more writing like this, check out Bianca Sparacino’s book Seeds Planted in Concrete here.