Ben Branstetter
Articles by
Ben Branstetter
35 Lies Men Tell Themselves
8. Overweight men deserve a chance to be loved for every facet of their personality and life, but no fatties for me.
6 Sexist Things Girls Say
5. “All guys think about is sex.” And all women think about is SHOPPING!! Am I right, guys?
20 Cheap Ways To Get Out More Often
14. Flea markets. I’m in love with these damn things. Walk in with $10 and walk out with fresh pecans, some rusting knick-knacks, and a Bad Company LP. It’s like a mall for poor people.
25 Things You Can Forgive Yourself For
18. Being broke. Someone has to be, right? Hooray, capitalism!
A Guide To Dating Someone Who Hates Themselves
Never take their mother’s side. Never.
30 Things You Should Do Right Now
Stop blaming your parents for telling you you’re special. You now know it’s a lie, but you can only blame yourself for continuing to pretend it’s true.
40 Things To Teach Kids These Days
Will Smith is not just the father of Willow and The Karate Kid.
10 Steps To Falling In Love With An Older Married Woman
Never touch her. Even when meetings end and she hugs everyone, pretend to have difficulty tying your shoes or looking for your lighter. Notice the way everything you do to avoid suspicion is only raising more.