I wish that I could take it all back.
I wish I would have traveled with you like you wanted me to.
I wish I would have taken the time you offered me, instead of ruining the only time that we had left.
What I would give for just one more chance to talk to you.
To see if you still feel any of this
Or if you ever did.
Or if I am just living in a different world and always have been.
I want to know the exact reason why you blocked me.
Why you had to cut me out.
Was I that bad?
Or was it because I was so good that this was the only way to truly be able to separate yourself from me?
Some days, I feel like I am obsessed.
But I have been left before.
I have left others before.
And no one has ever made me feel the way that you did.
I don’t think I made all of these feelings up.
And I think deep down, you know that, too.
But you never wanted to let yourself believe it.
I think you met someone else,
And you were afraid to tell me.
You wished I would have told you sooner,
But I guess I could say the same to you.
Why did you correct yourself that night when you told me that you met someone?
We could have ended it before it got worse.
Before I fell even harder.
Before the sex.
Before you introduced me to all of your friends at your church.
Before the last time you looked at me and I just knew.
I knew it was the end.
Maybe you didn’t know
Or maybe you did.
We always knew that we couldn’t last.
But I would be lying if I said I hadn’t always hoped that we would.
There has always been this part of me hoping that you are still reading all of my work.
That maybe this one will be the one that gets you.
And that you will finally come back to me.
I am probably sitting here chasing after a dream that I will never be able to make reality.
I just wish I knew if you were, too.