It used to be a rare occasion when you felt this way. Some days, nothing seemed to go right, but you always bounced right back. Now it seems like lately you are having less of the days where you are able to come back from that pain. These are the days when you can’t seem to stop hating yourself.
You wake up, and you can already tell what type of day you are going to have. You look at yourself in the mirror, and it’s like you can’t even recognize yourself anymore. You search your own eyes for the answer to the prayers you have been screaming in your own head, but you can’t even get past your own depression to see if there is anything else there. You stop and wonder if this is just how your life is meant to be.
Maybe fairytales exist for some people, and you just aren’t one of those people. Maybe you just aren’t one of the lucky ones. Maybe your life is a series of dead ends, and you will always feel like you are going nowhere. Or maybe, this is just your mind trying to convince you that you are less than.
I promise you that there is so much more to life than the darkness that is currently looming over you. It might be difficult to see a bright, brilliant life ahead of you, but I promise you that it is out there. There will be bad days and then days even worse than you ever could have imagined. There will be days when you look in the mirror, and your own appearance fills you with disgust. But what you always have to remember is that those days are not the only days that will ever exist in your life. You only become your bad days when you allow yourself to.
It can be so difficult on those days not to blame yourself for all of the wrong you feel all around you. The one common denominator in every equation that hasn’t turned out right might seem like it’s you, but this isn’t your fault. The weight of the world isn’t your fault. You are never going to be perfect, and you need to let yourself be okay with that fact. Life is a whirlwind of emotions and events, and just when you think you have finally caught up to it, it throws you off your course again. It’s okay. If we were not meant to change, then life would stay stagnant. Do not begin to hate yourself when you see these changes coming. Embrace them, and embrace the person you are becoming.
The bad days will hurt. The mirror will lie to you. And some days, you will feel like you simply cannot go on. But you can, and you will. Do not let your own self hatred take over the beautiful life blossoming all around you.
We tend to hate the things we do not understand. It’s okay to not know who you are yet. Wonderful things have been born out of frustration and confusion. What makes you think you would become anything less than just that wonderful?