I think you just might be everything I never knew that I needed. You have been the one constant in my life during two turbulent years. No matter how far the tides seem to take me, you always remain by my side.
Maybe this is what everyone was always talking about growing up. Maybe you are “the one.” Maybe this is what it feels like to have finally met my person.
We spend so much of our childhood dreaming up this perfect person who will change our lives forever once we finally meet them. I think sometimes we paint a picture that deviates so far from what we actually need that we often overlook the ones who are truly meant for us. You are never who I pictured whenever I thought of my soulmate, but now I cannot imagine my life without you.
Sometimes, things might seem too perfect, too easy. When we first met, I never would have thought we would be this close. You were just another cute boy who would undoubtedly leave, just like all of the rest. But you were always different. We seemed to click almost instantly. Sure, we navigated those awkward moments of getting to know each other, but for some reason, I have always felt so comfortable with you. When I’m with you, I can unapologetically be myself, unafraid of ultimately driving you away.
You make the mundane parts of my life electrifying. My morning routine has never been better than on the days I get to share it with you. We are both unhappy, and I think that is part of our draw to each other. I like to believe that we are the lights in each other’s darkness, whether or not either of us will ever admit it. You have made me realize I still have light left. You saw my brightness at a time when others could only see the dark. You have helped me find my way when I thought I would be lost forever. With you, I believe I might finally have a chance of finding myself. You make me believe that I might have a chance at all.
I like to think that you feel all of these things, too, but I am too afraid to find out if you don’t. Maybe our fear is what is stopping either of us from moving forward. Why ruin a good thing for something that might not even be possible? I still find it difficult to believe that someone like you would ever be interested in someone like me. In some ways, we couldn’t be more different, yet in others, we are exactly the same. I don’t know if I will ever find another person like you.
Maybe one day I will finally tell you what’s been going on in my head since the day we first met. Or maybe I will finally leave well-enough alone. I have done nothing but disappoint myself each and every time another relationship hasn’t worked out. I’m not sure when I will learn that some things aren’t meant to be while others are truly destiny.
My only hope is that I’m not writing this two years too late.